MANWITHPEZ'S BLOG
The Wrong Thing To Say
Wednesday, June 8, 2005 2:34 PM
Yeah...I do it a lot...Just open my mouth and say (or type) the wrong thing..."The next one of you slanty eyed fuckers that calls me Goat-Eye is gonna get a face full of angry American!"
On the streets of Seoul, Korea (Hey, they were being racists...why couldn't I?)
"So, how pregnant is that heiffer?"
"She's not pregnant!"
Conversation between me and my wife, concerning a friend of hers.
"You know, our son kinda looked like Lon Chaney in The Phantom of the Opera when he was first born."
Yeah...this went over well with my wife.
"And, when you get done with those things, come see me...we have a lot more to do."
(Bowing) "Yes, my liege."
Not the right thing to do to a Tech Sergeant that's already mad at you.
"Your brother slept with my sister!"
"Good for him. If you want to get back at him, I'll be over there."
She huffed and walked off. Apparently my brother made quite a name for himself after I left town.
"Your little brother slept with my girlfriend!"
"Sucks to be you. You might want to go talk to that girl over there."
Again, the same thing, only, I almost got my ass handed to me for this.
"So, what should I do? Kill myself?"
"I don't care what you do, but don't kill yourself. Wait til I get back in town if you're going to do that."
This conversation took place roughly ten minutes after I found out my ex-wife was sleeping around. I had evidence. When I got back to town, it was to find that my house was ABSOLUTELY empty, save for my clothes.
"Why does everyone have to say that they're Irish."
"I AM half-Irish! Oh, shut up and have a scone or something."
The group I went to Seoul with ended up talking to a group of teachers from the UK and other parts of the world. The English and Australian women were mean as hell. The Irish woman was very nice, though.
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