My first blog entry. Wish it was happier.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 1:09 PM

Ugh. These past few days have been horrible. Hopefully getting this off my chest will help me feel better. You don't have to read this; it's quite long and rather complain-y.

First off, last week I had a fairly bad case of the flu. I've been working more than usual, with one day off a week, and have been getting very little sleep. Then on Sunday my best friend from high school comes to visit (admittedly good news). However, I find out that he's shipping off to Afghanistan in two weeks. So, of course, I want to spend as much time as possible with him before he leaves this weekend.

So on Sunday night we were driving around looking for something to do when the girl I have a hardcore crush on gives me a call. She'd just gotten back from NC where the guy she went to see disappeared for 18 hours or so (she has terrible taste in men and even admits it herself). My friend gets on the phone and convinces her to come to the bowling alley with us.

Now, I've been trying to get her to do something with me for months and she always has an excuse, and she has been trying to do stuff with me (supposedly) but it never pans out. I was happy, however, that we were gonna spend time together. When we arrived I got the obligatory hug and was then mostly ignored for the rest of the night. She also ignored my friend but in a way much like she does when she likes someone (I found out later from someone she used to date).

After we left I talked to her on the phone untill I got home, then she hung up to go to bed. She didn't however, but instead called my friend. Then yesterday afternoon, she texted HIM asking what we were doing that night. My friend then told me about the phone call the previous night and we both agreed that she seemed to like him. He also told me that when they talked he asked her why we hadn't gotten together and she said I was "too nice". Considering how badly her boyfriends have treated her in the past, you'd think that'd be what she needs. Its funny, she's taking a psychology class asd knows about her tendency to date bad men. Later on yesterday she texted me, asking what we were doing that night. I answered back saying that after all the times I'd tried to get her do something with me it bothered me that with my friend here she was all of a sudden so interested.

She texted back with bewilderment; I then told her that if she wanted to hang with my friend, she should try tonight, as I'll be at a concert. She gave me a very angry reply (called me an a-hole), and then called me. I tried to explain to her how this looked to me, after all the months I'd tried to get her to come out, but she was VERY angry with me and I soon found myself apologizing. I tried to tell her how it hurt my feelings but she wouldn't listen and just kept being angry with me. She said she had no idea what I was talking about with her seeming to like my friend.

She hung up, saying she MIGHT one of us back later. My friend called her but did no better than I. Later that night, when we about to give up and go see a movie, she called and said she was at the bowling alley. she didn;t ask me to come, just said she was there. When I asked her if she was going to talk to me if we came, she said it depended on whether she picked up the spare or not. So I of course came, and she of course barely talked to me. Some of it might have been because I didn't bowl, but my arm was killing me from the night before and the previous tim she scarcely acknowledged my presence anyway.

She texted me while I was on the phone with another friend, saying "its nice to talk to the people you're chilling with". I then asked her if she wanted to go to the movie with us. She said no, she had to get up early the next day. Funny how that never stops her from going dancing on the weekends. My friend and I left (she gave me a hug as I left, not that I know what that means) and went to the movie.

She texted both of us in the movie, telling us to enjoy the film. She called me during the previews (I left the theater, don't wn

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