What I Think, As Opposed To What I Say

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 12:48 PM

Below is a list of things said to me. Afterwards, in parentheses will be the first thing that popped into my head, and after that will be what I actually said.


At Work:
Me: "I lost seven pounds last week."
My Boss: "How did you do that?"
Me: (Amputation) "You know...working out and such."

In The Smoking Area With a Coworker Who Has Never Seen Me Smoke:
Coworker: "Barks! You don't smoke!"
Me: (Am I sure? What am I doing with this cigarette?) "Yeah...I do."

At Home After Recieving A Sizable Income Tax Return:
My Wife: "That TV is just so expensive."
Me: (I will kill you) "Yeah, but that's the one we said we were going to get."

At Work Again:
My Boss: "Where are you going?"
Me: (Anywhere but here) "I have to poop."

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