Mitch Hedberg

POSTED BY: Caite
UPDATED: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 13:46
VIEWED: 4574
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CAITE

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 11:43 PM

Here are some more quotes!!!

"I went to a pizzeria ordered a slice of pizza, and the F*&ker gave me the smallest piece possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the f&$ker gave me the 'donate it to charity' slice. I would like to exchange this for the 'keep it'."

"My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk."

"You know crazy straws go all over the place? These straws are SANE."

"Xylophone is spelled with an X. That's wrong. It should be a Z up front. Next time you spell Xylophone, use a Z. If someone says, "That's wrong!", you say, "No, it ain't." If you think that's wrong, then you need to have your head Z-rayed."

"Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"

BATMARLOWE

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:08 AM

Yeah, I was a big fan of his too. He was one of the comedians I would tell friends about whenever they would say something along the lines of "there's no great new comedians coming up". This reminds me all too much of Bill Hicks' early death. I miss him too.

THATFROG

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 1:46 PM

I don't know if anyone posted Mitch's homepage yet, but there's a memorial message board there and a great Mitch crowd ... not trying to hijack this board or anything ... just wanted y'all to pop over and say hi! We'd love to meet ya! ... www.mitchhedberg.net

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