Funny..no really..
POSTED BY: Connorflynn
UPDATED: Tuesday, April 19, 2005 19:25
VIEWED: 15726
PAGE 1 of 7
I got this from a friend of mine and figured I'd share with my other friends (fellow browncoats).
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough there already?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp" instead of a “TH” ?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
And finally... The statistics on sanity are:
That one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. .
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Quote:
Originally posted by Connorflynn:
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
I know that I'm stating the obvious here, but I can't let this one lie. There is a chance some folks might be confused on the issue. If there are any folks who don't think evolution occurred, please don't take this as a reason to raise your hackles. Think of it as clearing up some terminology so that we're all speaking the same language.
That one is easy. Humans didn't evolve from any living group of apes. Everything alive today has evolved from earlier life. Even so called "living fossils" like coelacanths are not really the same as their ancestors. The problem with the term "apes" is that it is a general term but people apply it in different ways and this causes confusion. Humans, chimps, gorillas, orangutans, and gibbons are all descended from a common ancestor and are all apes. One group of apes was the last common ancestor of humans and chimpanzees. And this is typically what people are thinking of when they say "people evolved from apes". It would be truly ridiculous for anyone to ever suggest that any living species could evolve from any other species living at the same time.
I assume this was just another part of the silly joke in the post, but this is actually a point that confuses some people.
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Diego: I was just reading along and debating;
should I point out that no one ever said humans evolved from apes?
It is just a joke...
but didn't anyone hear their teachers when they said 'humans & apes evolved from a common ancestor'
But here, you have already done it!
And what does it say about us, that we can't just let the joke stand?
Connorflynn: I did like all the other ones though!
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Okay, that is funny! And waaaaay to true.
______________________
But if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
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Yeah, I knew it was only a joke, but there ARE people who get confused on this issue. And misunderstandings like that are a pet peeve of mine. Occasionally I have to take my pet peeves out for a walk or they get cranky. My apologies for stating the obvious and being all-together far too serious.
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Quote:
Originally posted by embers:
...didn't anyone hear their teachers when they said 'humans & apes evolved from a common ancestor'...
I find it odd that your teacher would present a theory as being fact.
-Ratboy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Connorflynn:
And finally... The statistics on sanity are:
That one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. .
corollary: If you are friends with TWG, then you are sane.
Rat, I'm guessing the teacher said somehting like, "Scientist theorize humans and apes share a common ancestor." I know mine said that.
www.thatweirdgirl.com
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Can we not revel in our cyber-love?
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Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
If you are friends with TWG, then you are sane.
In that case TWG, wanna be my friend?
I know this post was just a joke, but since some of you seem to know so much about evolution theory, perhaps someone can answer a questionof mine. How did symbiotic relationships evolve? I mean really, how did the whole bees pollinating floweres thing come to pass?
By the way Connerflynn, funny post.
"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"
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I'm embarrassed to say that I have actually done most of those things. I better go be friends with twg so I'll at least LOOK sane.
Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.
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Quote:
Originally posted by CALLMEATH:
How did symbiotic relationships evolve? I mean really, how did the whole bees pollinating floweres thing come to pass?
It's almost like someone planned it that way!
-Ratboy
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