Why Fox cancelled Firefly - - Funny

POSTED BY: HiroStone
UPDATED: Thursday, July 22, 2004 16:47
VIEWED: 9762
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FIREFLY4U

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 9:34 PM

good comedy

FIREFLY4U

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 9:34 PM

good comedy

JAYNESADDICTION

Thursday, July 15, 2004 10:29 PM

Further addendum-

On the name change our boys have been throwing around some new suggestions instead of calling it firefly, what do you think of..

When Reavers Attack.

Galaxy's scariast alliance chases,

Or the SImple life 3000 paris and nichole on the ass end of space.

also howabout a guest shot for Fox's newest prime time heroes method and red, they could be intergalactic gangstas (in black hats of course)

well any suggestions you have on this Mr. Whedon will be greatfully apreciated,

sincerely

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687

TIANMOWEILONG

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 5:01 PM

Suppose Whedon changes Mal and the captain of an Alliance ship. "Trading Captains: Meet your new Tight-Pants."

CANTTAKESKY

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 6:46 PM

Very very funny. Thank you for posting that.

Here's Joss' real response.

-----------------
Dear Fox executives:

I'm sorry, but I am too busy to even finish reading your letter. You see, I'm directing a $50 million movie that will go out and make so much money you'll cry yourself to sleep every night between the opening of this movie and the openings of its blockbuster sequels.

I always say, why drive a tricycle when you can have a corvette? Thank you for your offer though.

Sincerely,
Joss Whedon
--------------------------------

Can't Take My Gorram Sky

SERENITYVALLEY

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:10 PM

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

QUICKSAND

Thursday, July 22, 2004 12:21 AM

Oddly enough, the show described in the memo was on the network the EXACT same season as "Firefly." It was a show called "Fastlane."

Stuff blew up, lots of skanky underdressed women, and they never got to the 10-year-old, but if they'd been around another half-season, I'm sure they would have.

What WE know though, and Fox executives still don't, is that you can't target a show to that all powerful "Male, age 15-24" group, and then air it on a Friday night. So Firefly and Fastlane get thrown on the same scrap heap.

On the plus side, there will never be a Fastlane movie. Or maybe there was. Did anyone actually SEE "2 Fast 2 Furious?"

___\_o_/___
--------------- (Qs)

LTNOWIS

Thursday, July 22, 2004 3:11 AM

Quote:
I mean who DOESN'T want to have Mal show up at Inara's shuttle, to find Inara finishing a wax and buff job on Kaylee? Or Saffron showing Inara how to do the Venus Butterfly? Sure, throw Kaylee in as the subject of the demo. Why not?

For one thing, they'd need to change the name of the show to "The Immature fantasies of LtNOWIS."

TEELABROWN

Thursday, July 22, 2004 4:31 AM

Good gorram, that is simply the funiest thing I have read/heard all day. And whoever mentioned Jayne and Vera and pipecleaners, yes.

It's hard to type when laughing so hard.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

ZOID

Thursday, July 22, 2004 4:47 PM

HiroStone wrote:

Quote:
... 4. The focus groups who reported to my assistant after viewing one of your episodes said they didn't really understand who the bad guys were. We recommend you have all the good guys on the show wear white hats and all the bad guys wear black hats, so the viewers are better able to keep track at a glance just who they're supposed to be rooting for...

And now, a fly-on-the-wall viewpoint of that subcomittee meeting, liberally adapted from Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" (which does give one everything one needs to know about life, BTW):

(Names borrowed and adapted from jaynesaddiction, who got it right)

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687: "What was that about hats again?"

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687-A: (Voice is muffled incoherently)

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687: "Please remove your head from my rectum when you are addressing me."

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687-A: (Reapplying lip balm) "Sorry. I get so caught up in my work. What was the question again?"

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687: (Exasperated) "I said, what was that about hats again?"

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687-A: (Consults Nielsen household interview data) "Umm, apparently people aren't wearing enough of them."

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687-B: (Rising from a kneeling position and wiping corners of mouth) "If we could just go back to what you were saying before about people's souls not developing because they were so easily distracted... (Distractedly) Has anyone noticed that building over there before?"

FOX exec #6566-8543-55687: "Oh, my god! It's the Crimson Permanent Assurance (aka Reavers)!"

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Distractedly,

zoid
_________________________________________________

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