Joss and I agree
POSTED BY: Niki2
UPDATED: Sunday, July 9, 2023 08:01
VIEWED: 3503
PAGE 2 of 3
Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:Quote:
As bad and brutal as the ugly gets, it all doesn't suck.
...Pretty sure that's the definition of sucking. Bad, brutal, and ugly. Happening to someone. Every second. Multiple times per second to multiple different people. An incomprehensible endless scream into the universe of pain and suffering dwindling to nothing, over and over and over, 7 billion voices vying for their agony to be heard.
The rest of the time it's disgusting procreative rituals that lead to fleeting moments of heightened brain-chemical induced delusion, but which never drown out the one final truth - you will all die someday. Forever. Extinguished into the vast void of a universe that does not care.
Enjoy!
Please say you don't really believe this.
It makes me frightened for you.
"When your heart breaks, you choose what to fill the cracks with. Love or hate. But hate won't ever heal. Only love can do that."
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Quote:
Originally posted by Geezer:Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:Quote:
As bad and brutal as the ugly gets, it all doesn't suck.
...Pretty sure that's the definition of sucking. Bad, brutal, and ugly. Happening to someone. Every second. Multiple times per second to multiple different people. An incomprehensible endless scream into the universe of pain and suffering dwindling to nothing, over and over and over, 7 billion voices vying for their agony to be heard.
The rest of the time it's disgusting procreative rituals that lead to fleeting moments of heightened brain-chemical induced delusion, but which never drown out the one final truth - you will all die someday. Forever. Extinguished into the vast void of a universe that does not care.
Enjoy!
Please say you don't really believe this.
It makes me frightened for you.
Of course I do. Because it's the truth. All the sunshine and the stars and the flowers and photogenic scenery in the world don't drown out what really goes on underneath it all. Beauty is only skin-deep, you know. Just a lovely pointless facade over the endless cruelties the universe subjects us to. Just as nasty in it's own way as the more direct and blatantly vicious tricks played on us.
You think a hug, you think kindness can shield you from the darkness, but it's only yet another lie. Control and protectiveness and selfish interest and a grand cosmic biological JOKE, all toted and exaggerated until it's twisted up and unidentifiable, a silhouette of an embrace left after the bomb has gone off, washed away after enough time and rain.
The reality is this - you are on your own to make your way in a world where everything will either hurt you or kill you. And in the end, all your struggles have only the meaning that you want to give them, and the universe has no memory. But it's all you have.
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Yes, Geezer; but it doesn't make me afraid for her, it makes me deeply, deeply sad for her. Life IS what we choose to make it, and for many (I think most?) of us, "in the end, all your struggles have only the meaning that you want to give them" is enough; we reach out to others, we give of ourselves, and the meaning it gives us is enough. If you focus on the ugliness all the time, you both get and give nothing; I couldn't live that way and I don't know why she does, but it does something for her, it has to, so nobody can change it for her.
The sheer amazingness of the world around me CAN'T allow me to focus on only the negative, any more than I think it can for Joss. It really doesn't take much effort to volunteer for something that gives back a hundred fold, to reach out in friendship and get friendship back, but unless one wants to, nobody can make them. If one chooses to wallow in the horror, nobody can stop them, only pity them.
Certainly everyone is selfish; all creatures are. But the fact that doing something which makes us feel good about ourselves is selfish doesn't change that it's good in and of itself nonetheless. Nature is no kinder than our own species, just instinctively harsh rather than intentionally so; not to find joy in a world so filled with wonder, despite recognizing the horror, is incredibly sad to me.
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Byte: Old Proverb - if you do not know the answer, then you must BE the answer.
Whether or not these things are true, we have the ability, the resources, the humane drive to MAKE them true - from everything on a personal, individual scale, to a global one.... all that really matters is how long your reach is.
Fuck biology, it doesn't have all that much to do with HUMANITY, the root of which is... humane, and while yes its an artificial concept, it is in my opinion the finest creation of our species, right next to heresy.
-Frem
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Quote:
The sheer amazingness of the world
-_-
Oh good, my emotional state turned over to anger again.
I find it amazing that in all the time you worked with people on your website Niki you never once encountered anyone who had simple major depression with suicidal tendencies.
I'm not really sure how that's even possible.
But hey, you can make snide comments about how this is what just I want to be like and the world I want to live in, because I could totally change everything about me if I wanted to hard enough. Surely that's an accurate representation of the situation and maybe if I just did a 180 degree flip with my attitude everything in all directions wouldn't look like hopeless futile bullshit.
Yes, if everything just stopped being the WAY IT ACTUALLY IS and I took the zombie-making pills, I could be a happy person! Merely asserting that the world is wonderful and people don't suffer and live horrible short lives filled with disease and hunger and abuse overshadowed constantly by death and makes it TRUE.
I give someone money to help them and feel horrible the rest of the day and go hungry because that was for my DAMNED LUNCH AND DINNER and you get to smile at me and tell me good for selfish reasons is still good and it feels good. Every day I fail catastrophically in everything I set out to do, and I am too tired to try to save everyone and I have death staining my hands because of it but that is merely because I am not CHEERFUL enough.
I have been blind all along.
Case. Solved.
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There. Feel better ?
Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen
Resident USA Freedom Fundie
" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
There. Feel better ?
...You... CONDESCENDING...
No. I don't have to put up with you or anyone.
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Oh, come on...
It can't be THAT bad.
Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen
Resident USA Freedom Fundie
" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall
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Nothing snide about it, Byte, whether you believe it or not, I hurt for your inability to find any joy in life. But I'll never agree that it's "the way it actually is".
I've spent many years, personally and on line, dealing with people with depression and bipolarity--you forget I AM one, and suffered a major crash myself which cost me just about everything. I've LOST people to suicide, I brought one from England and lived through hell with her for over four years, I've got friends who have gone through multiple ECT just to try and survive, and everything in between. The difference is you seem to absolutely ENJOY it, and I've never known anyone to do that, so I don't believe it's mental illness per se. The people I've known want to fight back, WANT to feel better, so we work together, many have helped me, I've tried to help others, and we support one another.
Of course pills aren't the answer, obviously. Sometimes medication can help, get us far enough out of what we call The Chasm that we can START to fight back, but the one thing we ALL agree on is taking personal responsibility. You don't give any indication of wanting to fight back; the way you write you actually seem to REVEL in being Bad, desperately wanting to convince people you're Bad; that I do not understand.
I've never known anyone suffering from clinical depression who is so determined to INSIST the world is hell and everyone else MUST agree; sometimes it's personally hell for us, and sometimes that goes on for years, but we don't try to convince everyone else that it IS hell, we know it's just that way for US. You're welcome to your opinion, but it's yours and I disagree.
Never once did I even hint "that the world is wonderful and people don't suffer and live horrible short lives filled with disease and hunger and abuse overshadowed constantly by death", don't pull that bullshit. I LIVED in Afghanistan, which had more hunger and disease than you'll ever know, and I know those people found reasons to live, to love, to have children, find meaning in life, and even be happy at times, THAT's "the WAY IT ACTUALLY IS".
Yeah, what Frem said. I'm not going to get into this shit with you.
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You know, it's fascinating, in a way that's not funny at all, I've also talked a number of people down from suicide. Including here on this board. Case in point: http://www.fireflyfans.net/blog.aspx?bid=9206
And point of fact, it never once involved telling people that they're faking, that they must just want to be this way, that they just want attention, they must get something out of feeling goddawful, that they have a choice so it's their fault for feeling that way, or getting pissed off when blasting positivity at someone who is unable to experience positivity doesn't work.
Perhaps you simply haven't encountered all the delightful nuances of what depression can be. Such as, for example, self-loathing, and soul-numbing emptiness, and rage. In that case, I've found that these postings are very clarifying on the subject, and I can also say that I relate with every part of them and have experienced most of the situations described herein.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression
.html
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html
But, of course, you know better than I do what I feel and have experienced or not. After all, I'm just faking for attention, because my experience hasn't been like your experience.
You say things like that, and then you blame ME for getting angry. But if someone said that you were faking bipolarity, or that you ENJOYED it, I imagine it would PISS YOU OFF quite a bit.
But because I have problems and am not in remission and am not very likeable, I'm not allowed to defend myself. You don't have the time of day to give me, because according to you, I'm not really suicidal, so why don't I just shut up and stop bothering everyone. How nice.
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