Why was Sarah Michelle Gellar known as the 'Duchess'?

POSTED BY: rkwalsh
UPDATED: Thursday, January 22, 2004 07:44
VIEWED: 33796
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JASONZZZ

Sunday, January 18, 2004 5:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SpikeSpiegel:
Justdavid,

That's a new contention, the your right to think less of her. I'm all for that.
----

Jasonzzz,

Since we weren't on set, we don't know how diva-ish SMG was, what prompted her, or what the agenda of the complainers are. Was she a diva because other people were not responding to her before she became more insistent about something? Was she unfairly labeled a diva because she was collegial but not chummy? Is she being slandered by members of some on-set clique (groups of friends, and snarky cross-clique behaviors, are common in many large workplaces, after all). I still say, her alleged sins seem small and open to nuances that we can't know, and who the hell cares?

I guess we care, since we are still talking about it. At least passionate enough so that the discussion is completely polarized. Frankly, I really could careless. People who make an effort to be affront could have chosen to do otherwise - with much less effort too; they can still continue to do whatever it is that pleases them and make it a pleasure. Attitudes are contagious and eventually it's a feedback mechanism. I swear, some people just "enjoy" wallowing in their misery and just wants to spread it around and make sure everyone feels as crappy as they do - I say get away from me and so would most everyone.

I haven't met with her and after everything I've heard, I probably won't. For everyone of her 'kind', there are at least 10 other people who are fun, exciting, enjoyable to be around, intelligent to talk to, and great to hang out with. Leave the people with the crappy attitude to steep and rot in their own hole. blah.

I don't think she was collegial either.

Quote:
Originally posted by SpikeSpiegel:

And, "waitron"? Seriously?
Sounds like what you'd call a waitress once she's lost her youth ...
---

Phlebotinin,

Muchas gracias.

"Bang."

Come on now, how often do you get to use the term 'waitron' in the correct context? if there is ever one, this is it. It wasn't an effort to be ultra-PC. On the contrary, it was an effort to poke fun at the PC establishment and the idiotcy of it.

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JASONZZZ

Sunday, January 18, 2004 5:48 PM

Seriously, all of these things and many more have been done for years now. Next time you go into a chain restaurants (which is where these behaviours has all been incorporated into their inhouse training programs) Check it out... The goal of doing each one of these behaviours is to humanize your "server" and to make it a "fun" experience. Witness:

- the introduction: Brings themselves to your eye level, get close, just hovering outside of personal barrier distance. "Hi, my name is Ralph/Rachel and I will be your server this evening." Smiles, writes their name in multi-colored crayon on the butcher block paper lining the top of your dinner table.
- spends enough time to make a few drinks or dinner recommendations. Laugh, smile.
- make an observation about something you are wearing doing. Small short conversation about it.
- say how beautiful your kids look.
- do a table trick. Swirling a bottle of vinegar or oil, peppering the plates, dishing out house soy sauce, making fresh guacamole.
- writes their name and a smiley face on the check.

It is no longer about just the meal and the service. They are out to win your hearts and mind, not just for the bigger tip for each server, but for the repeat business.

People with the crappy attitude and keep wondering why all their nice friends stop returning their phone calls can learn a bit from this... I think in general, everyone can learn a bit about this.

Quote:
Originally posted by SpikeSpiegel:
Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:
And I would never get on my knees for a customer, as was suggested above.

Yeah, at that point, your job description is no longer "waiter," though "server" might still be valid as a euphemism ...

"Bang."

and Really, the goal isn't to dehumanize yourself. You are not their slaves, the entire goal is to make the customers know that you are there for them, performing a service, a human being, who has a name, have a talent, laughs, have fun, can relate to you. All of these are done with very subtle hints thru specific behaviours. Let them know you are a person, not just some robot writing down your order and fetching your sugared drinks.

What's more? You as a server have a funner time and earns more money. Look, for the same amount work physical labor, all you have to do is put in a slightly more extra effort "smile, say your name, tell a joke, scribble your name on the bill" and the customer enjoy their meals more, they feel like they are being noticed, and your get a fatter tip - on average. Point me to the wrong in that.

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SUCCATASH

Sunday, January 18, 2004 6:05 PM

Aggghhh, you are making me relive the horror.

Why?

JASONZZZ

Sunday, January 18, 2004 6:25 PM

It's a bright sunny Sunday AM. It's a mix of nice and cool and bright and sunny that screams and yells "Get outside and do some yard work." and "Run around and enjoy the day". So, I have my cup of Joe, sipping, just getting ready for the day with reading some news and bits. Ahhhhhh!

Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:

Aggghhh, you are making me relive the horror.

Why?

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BLINKER

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 5:56 PM

Quote:
It has nothing to do with her acting. It has a lot to do with the way she acted on the set when they weren't acting.

Tell me if I'm missing something here, but... here's the actual quote that I think we're discussing:

Quote:
Buffy has gone, largely because Sarah Michelle Gellar, known on set as "the Duchess", wanted to spread her artistic wings — and ended up filming Scooby-Doo 2. A cartoon Buffy has failed to get off the drawing board: "Too expensive, allegedly," Whedon says tightly. His next venture, Firefly, a futuristic space saga, was sucked into a black hole after 13 episodes, criticised as dull. It may come back as a feature film with the original cast.

There's no context there to say anything about her behaviour. At a guess, I'd say the nickname's at least partly a play on Sarah, Duchess of York.

On the other hand, I stumble onto this:

http://www.ryan-mcgee.com/buffy/archives/000273.html

Quote:
You-know-who has been on my ass for weeks to read you, so I've finally started visiting your site on a regular basis (yay!). I just thought I'd let you know that this was the last episode of Buffy I worked on - I was one of the masses evacuating Sunnydale. And I spent a good part of the afternoon by the red VW, talking to Clem. He's very nice! And, his wife is hot (she was visiting the set).

Sadly, I missed the episode, so I don't know if I got camera time. But you were right - Sarah was sick as a dog that day (she sounded horrible off camera, when she wasn't trying to hide the illness). She was also fairly unfriendly, but I can't say that was any different than her behavior on other days I've worked Buffy, when she wasn't sick.

Just my two cents.

TALLGRRL

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhysicsChick:
It has nothing to do with her acting. It has a lot to do with the way she acted on the set when they weren't acting.

And unless you, or someone you know personally works on the show and on the set, then anything else you might read or hear about her behaviour should be taken with a grain of salt.
Gossip mags and tv shows, and tabloids are always to be suspect.
I've worked, and I have friends who currently work, in the industry as everything from grips and stagehands to costumers and stand-ins and casting directors.
They have to work with these people every day and see all kinds of behaviour first-hand.
When I hear from them or their friends that so-and-so is a bitch or a bastard or spoiled diva or a jerk or jackass, I believe it.
When I read it somewhere, I don't believe it.
SMG might just be a diva on wheels, but unless I hear it from someone who's seen it, I don't believe it.
i humbly opine.

"Take me, sir. Take me hard."

JASONZZZ

Thursday, January 22, 2004 7:44 AM

from the FAQ over at SMGfan:
http://www.smgfan.com/faq.htm#a6

Quote:
A lot of people have said/reported that Sarah is stuck up and is a bitch in real life. Is she?

It's not our place to make statements about her character, but what we do know of her is that she is a nice person who is very down to earth and devoted to her fans. However, she has always taken her career very seriously and strives to keep her privacy. Many people confuse this with being a snob or a diva. She treats the people that work for and with her the way anyone would in a business and if they're doing something wrong, she is likely to tell them. Unfortunately, her assertiveness and focus are often misinterpreted as negative qualities. Sarah isn't perfect. She is 'just another young woman striving to succeed in her chosen profession. She is, behind all the Hollywood hoopla, simply SMG!' (JPM)

Yeah Yeah! plenty of people are assertive *and* plenty focused without ruining everyone else's day around them too. It's called communication skills - there are tactful ways to tell people that something is wrong (or that they are doing something wrong) - there *are* ways to tell people to "stuff it" and still have them laughing.

Well, at least she's got "Duchess". Guys who act like that are just "a$$-holes"...

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