If Astronauts and Cavemen got into a fight who would win?
POSTED BY: MrBlueSun
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 25, 2026 19:45
VIEWED: 8648
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Dunno about the cavemen , but watch out for the apes. They almost got Charlton Heston. 'Course they had guns, and his Second Amendment rights had been compromised...
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Umm... wouldn't it depend what they were fighting for?
'Cause I'm trying to picture this... say, bunch of time-traveling astronauts go back in time, land, go exploring, and find themselves surrounded by cavemen. I don't think that either group is going to be thinking, "My God, it's a fight to the death!"
In this scenario, the astronauts would just want to get back in their spaceship. And the cavemen would want the intruders to leave the territory. So the astronauts would retreat back to the alarmingly new metal hill that has appeared on the landscape, with the cavemen making threatening gestures the entire time. If it took a little while before the astronauts could get back in the ship, maybe one or two of each side would get killed as tensions escalated. But once the astronauts got back into their ship, both sides would consider it a win.
If we're talking about dropping a bunch of astronauts and a bunch of cavemen into some space aliens' boxing ring, a la the Triskelions (if I remember my original Star Trek), the astronauts would almost certainly be familiar with this science fiction trope and understand what was expected of them, whereas the cavemen would be disoriented and maybe too disheartened to fight. Result: the astronauts would win.
And if we're talking about dropping a bunch of astronauts squarely into cavemen territory, with the cavemen knowing every inch of their territory and a strong inclination to defend it, and no place for the astronauts to retreat to or real plan other than not dying, well... cavemen, I'd say.
Or am I overthinking this? :)
Indigo S.
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*Steps in and bashes Indigo over the head with a club while he's thinking it over*
ZUG-ZUG!!
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Hey now -- if you're talking cavemen versus paper-pushers like me, no contest. Cavemen win :)
Indigo S.
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Quote:
Originally posted by PumamanRedux:
The pirates ... definately the pirates .....
The pirates against who? Pirates vs. astronauts, I'd say the pirates: Astronaut is trying to say "I come in peace" and the pirate is smelling "I want to turn you in", and them pulls the gun out and shoots the astronaut square in the chest. (I'm thinking specifically of Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Carribean)
Pirates against cavemen, well, I'd say cavemen: They have superior numbers, and the pirate would run out of bullets.
So, given that, I say cavemen win overall.
"The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vaccuuming systems." -River
"It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think -River
Bwaa!
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