Do You Have a Thinking Problem?
POSTED BY: canttakesky
UPDATED: Friday, April 24, 2026 00:33
VIEWED: 13256
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Quote:
"Do You Have a Thinking Problem?
"It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then
to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was
more than just a social thinker.
"I began to think alone - 'to relax,' I told myself - but I knew it wasn't
true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking all the time.
"I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix,
but I couldn't stop myself.
"I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
"I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, 'What is it
exactly we are doing here?'
"Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off
the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at
her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in.
He said, 'Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll
have to find another job.' This gave me a lot to think about.
"I came home early after my conversation with the boss. 'Honey,' I
confessed, 'I've been thinking...'
"'I know you've been thinking,' she said, 'and I want a divorce!'
"'But Honey, surely it's not that serious.'
"'It is serious,' she said, lower lip aquiver. 'You think as much as college
professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking we won't have any money!'
"'That's a faulty syllogism,' I said impatiently, and she began to cry.
I'd had enough. 'I'm going to the library,' I snarled as I stomped out the
door.
"I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the
radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...
they didn't open. The library was closed.
"To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night.
"As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. 'Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your
life?' it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.'
"Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA
meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
'Porky's.' Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the
last meeting.
"I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking."
Can't Take My Gorram Sky
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I save my heaviest thinking for three o'clock in the morning. That way, nobody can interrupt my thinking, nobody knowws WHAT I'm thinking, and I can think as much as I want.
I know it's wrong to think alone. But I can't hurry my thinking. I just doesn't feel right if I have to snatch a few thoughts in secret. And still, I just can't let go of those special moments when I finally reach the point of peace, when my personal problems become so tiny that I can fianlly let go.
---------------------------------
Reality sucks. Especially when it contradicts our cherished ideas.
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It's not just ordinary people like you and me who have thinking problems. The President of the United States had a serious thinking problem when he was younger. Despite the occasional veiled hint from critics, I'm confident George W. Bush hasn't been thinking since at least 1992.
In fact, he now strongly discourages thinking among his staff. Like many, he finds religion a great substitute for thinking and hopes one day all Americans will do the same.
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Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Like many, he finds religion a great substitute for thinking and hopes one day all Americans will do the same.
And here I was enjoying the thread. Really, now--do you mean to imply that one cannot be a serious thinker and also be religious? Because I'm sure that Augustine sure would be disappointed to hear that. Aquinas, and Kant as well. And if not, what is the meaning of dragging religion into it? Thinking isn't all of the same stripe, you know. It could be the case that two people will think equally hard about the same thing, and come up with two completely different conclusions. It is naive at best--and arrogant at worst--to assume that anyone who disagrees with you isn't thinking. And it's nothing more than metaphysical imperialism to exclude theology from the realm of thought life.
________________________________________________________________________
Grand High Poobah of the Mythical Land of Iowa, and Keeper of State Secrets
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I'd just like to say that although i am a heavy thinker I could stop it anytime I wanted. It doesnt rule my life. No, realy, I could stop anytime. I just dont want to stop right now, OK?
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Being an Irish-American, I tend to think the hard stuff.
Nihil est incertius vulgo, nihil obscurius voluntate hominum, nihil fallacius ratione tota comitiorum.
Nothing is more unpredictable than the mob, nothing more obscure than public opinion, nothing more deceptive than the whole political system.
-- Cicero
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Hello, my name is ______ (haha, you thought I was gonna tell you), and I'm a thinker.
---
I'm a trouble-maker; Kaneman said so!
::points to 'I'm a trouble-maker' sticker on shirt and makes a platypus noise::
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“Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and uninteresting, like some righteous people I see? Watching day time TV and laughing? I know I should get along without thinking, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
“Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Thinkers Anonymous. There you will find release from care, existentialism, intellectualism and worry. Your imagination will be put back in its box. Life will mean nothing at last. The blankest years of your existence lie ahead. Switch on Fox and exist once more.”
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.
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i spend a lot of time reading, and thinking and researching and contemplating about things, like everyone here.. but most of all my faith. id almost say im devoted to it, since ive made it my interest to understand prophecy, christianity and occultism, and ancient mythology and how it all relates. i try not to take it personally anymore when people say that religion and thought are oxy morons; i guess Mans origins, as far back as is documented, are irrelevant in understanding the world, and have no scientific value. thats their stance, plain and simple. i choose to be a little more openminded, considering we essentially know next to nothing about the whole of our universe, extra dimensions or the variable nature of our reality. it costs me nothing to have my faith, i may resist or lose the urge to act inappropriately sometimes...but ive gained much more then ive lost; ive lost nothing. what is gained by disbelieving in a god? its been said before, science and God are not mutually exclusive
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