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MORE monty python!

POSTED BY: Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 5, 2006 03:46
VIEWED: 9058
PAGE 4 of 5

UNSARDONIC

Friday, June 30, 2006 4:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by lwaves:
"You were lucky. We used to live in t'shoebox in middle o' t'road".

LUX...ury... now We had it rrooff...

...cut your children in two with a breadknife and dance about on their graves singin' "Glory Hallelujah" "or your friends will think you're a stupid, inbred stack of meat."

ASARIAN

Friday, June 30, 2006 8:41 AM

People keep asking me: "RB, how come you're so good with the quotes?" And I keep telling them:

"You have to know these things when you're a King, you know?"

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

SIMONWHO

Friday, June 30, 2006 11:36 AM

Interesting fact: The Four Yorkshiremen is not a Monty Python sketch. True, they did perform it on stage but it was originally in At Last The 1948 Show, with that sketch written by and starring John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Marty Feldman.

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to stop this post here because it's not silly enough. It started out promisingly, with reference to four Yorkshiremen but descended into factual references, correcting other posters. Also you can tell the signature is fake, its hair is far too long.

ZOID

Friday, June 30, 2006 4:13 PM

And now -- completely without apologies of any kind for its length -- I mean, if you've got it, flaunt it -- an essential sketch from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Liffe":

Quote:
The First Zulu War.

Natal 1879 (not Glasgow)

[Inside a tent.]

Pakenham-Walsh: Morning Ainsworth.

Ainsworth: Morning Pakenham-Walsh.

Pakenham-Walsh: Sleep well?

Ainsworth: Not bad. Bitten to shreds though. Must be a hole in the bloody mosquito net.

Pakenham-Walsh: Yes, savage little blighters aren't they?

First Lieut Chadwick: [arriving] Excuse me, sir.

Ainsworth: Yes Chadwick?

Chadwick: I'm afraid Perkins got rather badly bitten during the night.

Ainsworth: Well so did we. Hah!

Chadwick: Yes, but I do think the doctor ought to see him.

Ainsworth: Well go and fetch him, then.

Chadwick: Right you are, sir.

Ainsworth: Suppose I'd better go along. Coming, Pakenham?

Pakenham-Walsh: Yes I suppose so.

[Chadwick leaves. Ainsworth and Pakenham-Walsh thread their leisurely way through the line of assegais. Pakenham-Walsh's valet is speared by a Zulu warrior but Pakenham-Walsh valiantly saves his jacket from the mud. They enter Perkins's tent. Perkins is on his camp bed.]

Ainsworth: Ah! Morning Perkins.

Perkins: Morning sir.

Ainsworth: What's all the trouble then?

Perkins: Bitten sir. During the night.

Ainsworth: Hm. Whole leg gone, eh?

Perkins: Yes.

[As they talk, the din of battle continues outside. Screams of dying men, crackling of tents set on fire.]

Ainsworth: How's it feel?

Perkins: Stings a bit.

Ainsworth: Mmm. Well it would, wouldn't it. That's quite a bite you've got there you know!

Perkins: Yes, real beauty isn't it?

All: Yes.

Ainsworth: Any idea how it happened?

Perkins: None at all. Complete mystery to me. Woke up just now... One sock too many!

Pakenham-Walsh: You must have a hell of a hole in your net.

Ainsworth: Hm. We've sent for the doctor.

Perkins: Ooh, hardly worth it, is it?

Ainsworth: Oh yes... better safe than sorry.

Pakenham-Walsh: Yes, good Lord, look at this.

[He indicates a gigantic hole in the mosquito net.]

Ainsworth: By jove, that's enormous.

Pakenham-Walsh: You don't think it'll come back, do you?

Ainsworth: For more, you mean?

Pakenham-Walsh: Yes.

Ainsworth: You're right. We'd better get this stitched!

Pakenham-Walsh: Right.

Ainsworth: Hallo Doc.

Livingstone: [entering the tent with Chadwick] Morning. I came as fast as I could. Is something up?

Ainsworth: Yes, during the night old Perkins had his leg bitten... sort of... off.

Livingstone: Ah hah!? Been in the wars have we?

Perkins: Yes.

Livingstone: Any headache, bowels all right? Well, let's have a look at this 'one leg' of yours then, shall we? [Prods bloody stump with stem of his pipe] Yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... yes... well, this is nothing to worry about.

Perkins: Oh good.

Livingstone: There's a lot of it about, probably a virus. Keep warm, plenty of rest, and if you're playing football or anything, try and favour the other leg.

Perkins: Oh, right ho.

Livingstone: Be as right as rain in a couple of days.

Perkins: Thanks for the reassurance, doc.

Livingstone: Not at all, that's what I'm here for. Any other problems I can reassure you about?

Perkins: No, I'm fine.

Livingstone: Jolly good. Well, must be off.

Perkins: So, it'll just grow back then, will it?

Livingstone: [Pauses] Er... I think I'd better come clean with you about this... it's... um it's not a virus, I'm afraid. You see, a virus is what we doctors call very, very small. So small in fact, that it could not possibly have made off with a whole leg. What we're looking for here is, I think -- and this is no more than an educated guess, I'd like to make that clear -- is some multi-cellular life form with stripes, huge razor-sharp teeth, about eleven foot long, and of the genus felis horribilis.

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GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Friday, June 30, 2006 11:16 PM

I know it's long, but I don't care, it is my FAVORITE sketch in the history of monty python

also, I'm 16

TV Announcer:
That was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", adapted radio by Bernard Hollowood and Brian London. And now, Radio 4 will explode.

Music

(The radio explodes
Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One looks at the other.)

First Old Women (Graham Chapman):
We'll have to watch the telly then.

Second Old Women (John Cleese):
Yes.

First Old Women:
Well, what's on the television then?

Second Old Women:
It looks like a penguin.

(On the TV set there is indeed a penguin. It sits contentedly looking at them in a stuffed sort of way. There is nothing on the screen.)

First Old Women:
No, no, no, I didn't mean what was on the television set, I meant what programme?

Second Old Women:
Oh.

(The Second Old Women goes to the TV, switches it on and returns to her chair. The set takes a long time to warm up and produce a picture. During this pause the following conversation takes place.)

Second Old Women:
It's funny that penguin being there, innit?
What's it doing there?

First Old Women:
Standing.

Second Old Women:
I can see that!

First Old Women:
If it lays an egg it will fall down the back of the Television set.

Second Old Women:
We'll have to watch that.
(pause)
Unless it's a male.

First Old Women:
Ooh, I never thought of that.

Second Old Women:
Yes, looks fairly butch.

First Old Women:
Perhaps it comes from next door.

Second Old Women:
Penguins don't come from next door,
they come from the Antarctic.

First Old Women:
BURMA!
(sound of tea spoon being dropped into tea cup)

Second Old Women:
Why did you say Burma?

First Old Women:
I panicked.

Second Old Women:
Oh. Perhaps it's from the Zoo.

First Old Women:
Which zoo?

Second Old Women:
How should I know which Zoo?
I'm not Dr. Bloody Bronowski!!

First Old Women:
How does Dr. Bronowski know which zoo it came from?

Second Old Women:
He knows everything!

First Old Women:
Oh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery out of life. Anyway if it was from the zoo it would have 'Property of the Zoo' stamped on it!

Second Old Women:
No it wouldn't, They don't stamp animals 'Property of the Zoo'!!! You couldn't stamp a huge lion.

First Old Women:
They stamp them when they're small.

Second Old Women:
What happens when they moult?

First Old Women:
Lions don't moult!

Second Old Women:
No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.

First Old Women:
OH, INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!

(On the TV screen there now appears an announcer)

TV Announcer:
Hello. It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.

(The penguin on top of the set now explodes.)

First Old Women:
How did he know that was going to happen?!

TV Announcer:
It was an inspired guess. And now ...

if you don't like it that's your problem

BURMA!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

UNSARDONIC

Saturday, July 1, 2006 4:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown:
BURMA!

..."Now, why'dja say, 'Burma,' then?"

immediately satisfy my pressing Benedictine addiction... "or you're friends will think you're a stupid, inbred stack of meat"

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Saturday, July 1, 2006 5:58 AM

I panicked

UNSARDONIC

Saturday, July 1, 2006 6:45 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown:
I panicked

y'know dude...

If you really are all of 16 years old (the following to be read in your finest Mr.Blint-out-of-"Consequences" voice), "as you claim to be..." then, you give me hope for our next generation.

I'll insinuate all manner of Python & Firesign (and "Consequences" & "Rawlinson End" & "Hitchhiker's Guide" & "Zappa" ...and Dorothy Parker... AND... all those delightful "'Verse'isms") into my conversations as a normal matter of course - as simply a way of making tangential commentary on ...oh, "life, the universe and EVERYthing"... and if I do it with someone in their 20's or 30's, at best, they think I'm some sort of loony eccentric. At worst, they think I'm annoyingly insane... but whichever: it's over their damned heads & they simply don't get it.

To find a chap of all of 16 with a complete knowledge of 40-year old Python routines really amazes me & cheers me up all kinds o' ways.

If you haven't already mentioned this somewhere and I just missed it, what got you interested in Python & why'd you pursue it obsessively enough to have it all memorized?

42 "or your friends will think you're a stupid, inbred stack of meat"

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Saturday, July 1, 2006 11:54 PM

my dad, I was about seven when he randomly said "BURMA!" so of couse I asked him why he said burma and he replied "I panicked"

he then proceeded to outline the exploding penguin sketch, the one I placed above,

then, 8 years later I had dish network, including BBC america the day I remembered I had that channel there was a marathon of Monty Python's Flying Circus and I was hooked

UNSARDONIC

Sunday, July 2, 2006 7:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown:
my dad, I was about seven when he randomly said "BURMA!" so of couse I asked him why he said burma and he replied "I panicked"

he then proceeded to outline the exploding penguin sketch, the one I placed above,

then, 8 years later I had dish network, including BBC america the day I remembered I had that channel there was a marathon of Monty Python's Flying Circus and I was hooked

VERY cool...

very...
very...
very...
very...
cooOOoolll...

Now... how well have you pursued their movies? And, just to whet yer whistle: are you aware that the American Film Institute, in their list of the "100 Greatest Comedy Movies of All Time" place "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" at the very top as the "Greatest Comedy Film of All Time." ...deservedly... where it just simply deserves to be? I recall the LA Times review of that day saying, that 'no one else had the guts to tackle a topic as profoundly fundamental as the very meaning of life within a comedy movie' besides Ponty Mython... and... and... and.... DAMN!! (I feel another "metamorphosis" coming on)... omagawd, I cain't stawp ii-ii-iitt-ttt...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable..."

If ya don' le' us call ya 'Bruce' ta keep things simple, "your friends will think you're a stewpid, inbread stack o'MEET!!"