'...in that valley of stone...'
Monday, 09 June 2008 14:37:06

Saw the man come over the lip of the dune skree – just a blurred figure on a mule, heat wavered with the sun low behind. Pretty soon though we’re close – as he comes in fast and I’m moving out to greet him. Man about my age, calm eyed – bets on that I’m looking suspicious. “Well,” I never can stop myself, “another Shepherd then.” Man takes that placid enough, just asks, “Does that upset you?” I twirl my broom some then give the fella another up and down. “I dunno – you look like you mighta earned them clothes at least.” Almost a smile from the man, something in the eyes too. “That’s – I’ve never heard anyone else put it that way,” looking thoughtful now, “but I’ve wondered about that myself.” Sun’s getting in my eyes now so I point off yonder through the gate. “Abbey’s that way, such as it is. More a nursery – but don’t mind me.” Nor does he – fella just presses easy on the pedal of the mule and slips through the gate setting the scanners twitching – and gone. ............. [i] rough piece of something coming soon... [/i]

doctors
Monday, 09 June 2008 17:47:18

Y'all know Little Jerry and the Monotones, from Sesame street: " We're mad,very angry. Very,very angry. Real mad, very angry, very, very angry . " You can exit gracefully now, or hang around-- this is gonna be a self-indulgent venting type post. I'm continuing to deal with my high blood pressure-- taking the pills and eating better, but back-sliding some on diet and exercise. I actually went and got the blood test my Doctor wanted. They didn't hurt me, I didn't pass out. She wanted me to be evaluated by a cardiac specialist- I've got what she labeled " atypical chest pain." So she referred me to this Vietnamese heart specialist that's a colleague of hers. We discussed it. There are 2 kinds of cardiac stress test, one where they look at you on a flouroscope while you're on a treadmill, and another kind where they inject you with something first. The second one gives better results, but the first might be satisfactory, given my phobia about needles. Up to me and the heart guy to decide. I went. I was sitting there in his waiting room, full of Vietnamese patients, when his semi- ESL Mexican office girl called me back to the office window to make the co-payment. I whipped out the checkbook to write a check , and she says to me, " We don' take checks." So I tore up all the paperwork, and stomped out. The man is a licensed physician, a professional, a medical corporation, a business, a businessman. I was referred to him by a respected colleague, and they both confirmed that he participated in my Insurance program. Either his office staff is too incompetent or lazy to process a personal check; or, he thinks I'm gonna write him a bad check for my $ 30 co-payment; or, my insurance company is defrauding me, and the co-payment is all he's gonna get; or else he's cheating somebody, the IRS, MediCare, MediCal, whoever, and he is is skimming the cash and doesn't want to leave a paper trail. Rather than think any negative about HIM, I accept that he thinks I'm gonna stiff him. Which insults ME- I don't write Hot checks to nobody, never. There's a sign in my regular doctor's office about patient's' rights: Number 1 is to be treated with dignity and respect. That's respectful, ain't it? " We think yer gonna stiff us, you deadbeat. " And dignified, too-- I gotta turn out my empty wallet in public and say," I ain't got no cash.", because I never carry more than 10 bucks. Betcha he pays his mortgage payments with checks, and his office payroll, and his light bill. But I can't. SO I called my Doctor's office, briefly explained, said, " I ain't goin' back there , ever." Put it outta my mind, moved on-- The guy's a dead letter, never gonna concern me again. Shoulda made this post then, but didn't. That was a month ago, and I pushed the anger down and away from sight. MY walking fell off- I skipped several days in a row, then a full week. Diet went bad. I'm eating coffee shop breakfasts, Mexican food, cheeseburgers, chicken fried steak, even Italian food. Skipped my medication , especially on weekneds. Stopped monitoring my BP- maybe twice a day, down from every 4 hours. Got a letter from my doctor the other day- had the results of my blood test, and a reminder of my next appointment, and an apology for the heart guy. Which is funny-- her office staff tried to do the same thing to me, and I let them get away with it. Maybe because they asked for it after I'd seen her, and because I had almost enough cash on me to cover it that day. But inside, I'm still mad at her office guy. Her letter also included an order to the lab for another blood test, for something different. The first results showed bad colesteral high, good cholesteral normal, nitrogen OK, but anemia and an abnormality in blood sugar, so maybe I'm pre diabetic I was gonna go this morning , but my wife couldn't wake up in time, and I wasn't gonna go by myself- - my needle phobia is *B*A*D*, never know when I'm gonna pas