Dialogue sketch
Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:27:34

OHHHH DIALOGUE! The Club I walked into a crowded nightclub after a long day at the store as Angel, sick of the looks my coworkers gave me as I restocked the stacks. I’m dying for a drink, the blare of the music, and the crowds, searching for something I’m not ready to admit to anyone or myself. I settle down on a trendy, uncomfortable barstool and order the first thing the bartender pitches, something hip and sugary with either too much alcohol or none at all, and whose name is as memorable as water is breathable. I barely get a sip down when the whispering starts. I can’t even unwind without one of the girls wanting to chat or berate. “What do you think you’re doing?” Alyssa’s voice whispered sweetly in my head. Of course it would be her to chew me out to night. “I’m having a drink and enjoying some loud music before I go back to my room and sleep.” I replied in my head as I scan the crowd and the bar. “Liar,” she was giggling a little annoyingly. “You’re not here for a drink, you would have gotten something you actually liked” her worry and love radiating through me, I wish I did have a drink I knew I liked. I don’t have a chance to reply when she continues, “And you hate loud music.” “Maybe I just want to be normal for awhile or even just avoid the hotel for awhile longer.” “Oh you liar! That isn’t what you want.” “I don’t know you think that” “Because ‘normal’ girls wouldn’t have brought a knife with them.” I have to stop myself from laughing out loud, of all the girls Alyssa knows me best, knowing what I’m going to do before even I do. She has been my opposite in almost everyway since the beginning of time. Ever since I left home she has been trying to save my fraying humanity. She thinks she is winning, I think she is losing. “So what are you going to do if you can’t find one here?” She asks when I don’t respond. “Find what?” I finish my drink in a single gulp and order something stronger and I actually like. If I was smart I would stop drinking because the girls are clearer when I drink and if I’m sober and I can keep them out to some extent. “You shouldn’t drink that.” “Thanks mom.” I down the drink and order another “Find what?” “Don’t blame me when you get sick.’ I bring the glass to my lips to take a sip and hide my smile. I look around the club again taking the rainbow around me. “Find what?” I ask her one last time. “The black aura you’re looking for.” “I’m just here for a drink.” “You’re going to go to another bar and look there, that’s what your going to do.” “I am not-“ “And if you don’t find it there you’ll go to another and another, drinking the whole time until your sick and reckless.” “You’re crazy.” I finish my drink and order yet another, continuing my search, never letting my eyes rest. “You’re killing yourself.” I choke on my drink when I laugh, the sound swallowed by the deafening beat. “I’m already dead, like you, and if my body an heal itself from a 50 foot fall, I’m sure it can keep this poison from ending me.” “That’s not what I mean.” “Ok, what then?” “You’re killing soul, desensitizing yourself to death, allowing it to take over. You are making blood shed the cure for more and more minor things. You’re hunting even when the beast doesn’t tell you when you need to. You go out looking for some guy with an aura with enough black in it for you to justify killing them. You already don’t have a life as yourself anymore and now here you are, hunting when you don’t need. You’re destroying your soul” I stare into my drink, letting her words sink in like falling stones. I let my gaze return to the woman who I keep catching in the corner of my eyes when I scan the room. I start memorizing her features as I move my drink between my hands. I feel heat rise though my body as my eyes follow up the line of her legs, and over her curves. My mind wonders, imagining her in different ways. I gulp down what’s left of my drink and weed my way through hot, noisy crowd heading out to the cool and quiet streets. “What are you going to do now?” “Head b

Encouraged
Wednesday, 28 March 2007 10:30:11

BornToFly, zzetta13, SaveWash, LittleAlbatross29 and BlueEyedBrigadier-- Thank you for your kind welcome to the board.

Who Cares, Winter Came Back
Wednesday, 28 March 2007 23:59:33

Originally posted on Myspace blog: Wednesday, March 28, 2007 Who Cares, Winter Came Back My interpretation of the song reflects to a false spring that was interrupted by a sudden return of winter. Friends gathered, people rejoiced, inspiration was found while it was warm, but the sudden return made everyone grateful for that one little slice of warmth. So I was listening to this song the other day and even headed a a thread with it at FFF.NET and it came to me. I never posted the sudden change in my mood. No longer angry. Sure I cussed the dumbass that didn't know what a blinker stood for on Rio Vista and I refrained from headbutting the nasty bitch behind me at Wally World last night. But that ain't exactly the anger I'm talking about. I'm talkin about the kind that burns from the inside out. It happens every now and then. Seems stuff fell through and I wasn't willing to face it. For those of you who've followed in the recent months, there will be no trip to Dragon Con. That means no march with the 76th. That means I will not be meeting many people who have been friends for over a year and have been some of the most trusted council I've ever known. So now that I've come to peace with the fact I ain't going it is time to move on. There are a few events slated before and after D*C and I may be given my chance to do my part there. Of course that isn't the only thing, but is in the top five. I must apologize to many of you for my absence for the last month or so. And for others I must ask forgiveness for not being a friend all along. Seems I reached one of those times where I was completely capable of walking and simply wanted to be carried for once. For that I am truly sorry. Currently listening : The Buddy Holly Collection