HASLINGER

So that went well.... I hate short relationships. You really don't have anything to complain about, except nothing. What bothers me is the whole, I think i am closer to you than you are to me thing. And that we explored the relationship but friendship is the only thing we found. I don't get it. She didn't even flinch, but hey that's what happens in short relationships. There's no flinching....there's no flinching in dating. I slept well last night. May be it's a sign. My excitement about Dragon Con grows exponentially. I wish that art show wasn't on Sun. so I could stay. It will be nice to step away from this wretched city for a while. It's friday...

KRYSTOPHER

I [i]hate[/i] feeling worthless and unfortunately I feel that way everyday because of my father (therefor the reason for the title). I know it's dumb to feel like I'm nothing just with how he acts with our dog (I know, I know!) but in comes my insecurities and low self-esteem. I know he loves me but... ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! I just felt like venting. Sorry.

VIGALIANA

I just found out the most awesome thing today. there is NO school on the day Serenity is released! when i found out I very nearly yelled for joy.

NRKANGEL

There is a school of thought that neo-confabulist thinking is best expressed in pseudo-intellutalized satire. Which simply means, If you don't know what to say, dazzle 'em with bulls*it. That really has absolutely nothing to do with today's blog, but it was a place to start and I always have a problem knowing where to start. I'm wish I was more attentive to this blog, but I can at least claim that this week wasn't my fault. Since Saturday, Rod and I have sequestered ourselves at his parent's cabin east of San Diego in the Los Something-Something National Forest trying to get some work done. This week has been a fantastic example of what makes the great outdoors the third most avoided recreational activity in America. (No phone, no TV, no internet and no hot water for showers...) Actually showering in cold water can be incredibly refreshing once your body releases it's grip on your testicles and you can breathe again. For Rod it was a week to concentrate on our project before he and his wife have to devote most of their waking hours on their new baby girl (arrival in Nov.). For me it was a test to see how well I would adapt to putting my nose to the grindstone without a job to pressure me into it. Still, a week is a long time and with no outside contact, which can be a good learning experience. Boredom forces you to either make up stupid word games or take note of the world around you. Often startling discoveries are,...um, discovered...this way. Revelation: A week in a cabin with a buddy is a true test of friendship. Unlike a romantic relationship where love blinds you to the realities of the person you spend time with, friendship gives you just enough in common to think that you can survive in close quarters with someone who has a whooooole different idea of living than you do. Within a week, you either develop a sense of sympatico with each other or you repeatedly surpress wild urges to eat their heart. Revelation: It takes a minimum of two heaping teaspoonfuls of International Coffee's Swiss Mocha mix to make hot water taste like something other than hot water with a spoonful of dirt for flavoring. (Sub-Revelation: At five teaspoons, you might as well forget the water and spoon it straight into your mouth.) Revelation: You can make just about anything in a large electric skillet except cake. Revelation: There is a secret part of the human brain that has evolved to be smarter than our conscious selves. This is probably why the brain has separated lobes. I know this is hard to follow, so I'll go a little in depth. In years past, I've been able to drink large quantities of alcohol. (Typically in conjunction with some work function where it was expected...) For some reason though, as I've grown older, this recreational activity has come to make less and less sense to me. Let me try and illustrate it another way. When you were six, you were probably told by someone older than you to do something incredibly stupid. (You can submit these to the board here for all to see if you have the need. I'd love to know that I wasn't alone in having a sadistically intelligent older brother..."Bugs taste like chicken!".) Think that this doesn't apply to you? Try this: Place your hand flat on a table. Take a hammer (preferrably the rubber mallet type - as they don't tend to scar) and strike the center of your hand once as hard as you can (more if you have a high threshold for pain). If you found yourself incapable of doing so, then my theory may have validity. If you actually DID perform this act of lunacy, then you're living proof that evolution is a Darwinian process. Anyway, the point is, Rod and I tried to get smashed a couple of times this week. Unfortunately, by the time we'd each made it through a couple of beers, we'd start yawning and eventually head for our respective bunks. (This is the "smart-brain" reminding the body that hangovers aren't fun and acknowledging that there is a sixty foot drop less than a football field length away from the front door. Hence the theory.) FYI,

NRKANGEL

Where was I...? There was something I wanted to remember from the last post...think,think,think... Ahhh, never mind. I'll just pick a place to start. The unquestioned highlight of the week, aside from not hearing the echoes of work constantly invading my sleep, was "The Reading". For those of you who don't know, Rod and I are trying the ridiculously impossible task of actually producing our own, independent movie. This is not a step we took lightly, nor is it one that we are taking while wearing rose colored glasses. (Yes, we've done small, non-public projects before. No we have no formal training. Everything we've learned, we've learned by studying and trying to think of how to emulate.) We know that, ultimately, it comes down to desire, determination and the willingness to have enough faith in ourselves to dump every last nickle into this project. (That and gathering a group of people who have the same desire and energy and sense of fun that we do.) To that end, we decided to do our first reading with some of the people who may be involved. As this was the first time we'd had it read aloud, Rod was a ball of tension. Tug a little and he would have snapped like Daffy Duck in a room full of rabbits. Strangely I never saw this. He had to tell me later over coffee and breakfast at one in the morning at Denny's. As expected, things were both good and bad. Most of the people involved were reading cold. Only one or two had a copy of the script beforehand. We wanted this if only to get a fresh perspective from people who had no idea what was coming. Unfortunately, this meant that some of the best lines (it's a comedy) weren't read as we envisioned while other lines got laughs we hadn't quite expected. The good news is that everyone gave us a thumbs-up, and had a general up-beat attitude after the reading. We discussed the story from several different directions and got some interesting input. The bad news is that we didn't see wild, out-of-your-seat enthusiasm we had hoped for. (Like the lottery, you don't really expect to win, but you never let go of the "what if...".) So we're on re-writes now and are looking at schedules and pre-production tasks that will go on for the next couple of months. It's a breath-taking journey, both a little surreal and a little frightening. Like Rod told me: in my current job, I'm a go-to guy when customers have a problem with the equipment. If I want to take this leap, I have to be willing to learn how to walk and speak and spell again all for a different world. I try, for the most part, not to think about it. If I dwell on it too long, it looks overwhelming. The funny thing is, in my job, I give training classes to techs and engineers on our equipment. When I start, I always tell them that the machine is only complicated if you try to look at everything at once. But everything can be broken down into one small challenge at a time. 35 days left to a new life...this is going to get reeeealy intersting. [i]Standing Outside the Fire[/i] -Garth Brooks