PHOENIXRISING

Okay so I've been reading a story called Bed and Wine by Kaynara, and if any of you are Mal/Inara shippers then this is a good story. It's not just about them though, and it's definetly not just romance. All the characters have big parts, especially River. There are parts where the writing could be better, but by the time you're a few chapters in you care so much about the characters that you just want to know what happens next. Give it a read and leave her a review if you're of a mind.

SHINYTALENT

Wow folks it's been an up and down, rough and tumble couple of months and finally it's all starting to take it's toll. A few things have happened: I found out that going to school over there will cost $15000 a year, at least and I can't work or get student loans. I found out that work over there is actually easier to find when I get there. I found out that I can study and get a qualification here, that'll take a year at the least and improve my chances of getting a job over there, but that's another 13 months *stuck* away from the one person that makes my worth living. I don't know how much more I can take, if the verse keeps throwing not just obstacles but massive trials I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Wait five years until we can get married? I'm trying so hard but this *Hurts* and I can endure a Lot and not complain but this is the worst feeling ever. I'm miserable here and I hate every day that he and I are apart. I know everyone is going to tell me that absence makes the heart grow fonder, that we're young and have our whole lives ahead of us, that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Last night one of my friends even quoted firefly to make me try to feel better, you know that thing Inara says "This is just a moment in time step aside and let it pass." I almost hit them. I know that this has to get better, and in my sane moments I know that we have the rest of our lives together to make up for this. That I'm only young and this is life experience. Well I've had my life experience in spades. I've had so much life experience that I'm rapidly getting sick of living. This was supposed to be easier than this. I know life wasn't meant to be easy but it wasn't supposed to be this hard. I thought saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I've ever done, until I tried living without him. I'm just so lost and it hurts so much and I know that I'm being completely irrational but right now I just don't care. I miss everything and everywhere I look I see us and it rips my heart out. I know it's not healthy and I'm trying everything I can to stay positive, I really am but this isn't working and I just keep thinking that I can't lose him and I can't lose the motivation to keep working at this. I have had so much stuff piled on top of me the last few years you would think that whoever's running the show would cut me some slack, and they did for a while, when he was here it was all bearable and ok and there wasn't anything I couldn't face, because he's my Paladin and he takes care of me but now I'm alone and I'm scared that I can't do this, that one by one I'm breaking every promise I made to him. I told him I'd be there for him, no matter what and how can I be there when I'm here. I guess what I'm saying is that right now everything hurts and it's bad for me and I don't know what to do. I really am lost in the woods, it doesn't get much worse than this for me. I don't really know what I need or why I wrote this, it's not like anyone can actually help me. But thanks for listening as always, I hope that next time I have something sunnier to report.

ASARIAN

The other day I posted about seeing a small girl dancing, reflected in River's helmet, in that space scene in Bushwhacked, where she's gazing at the stars. Got some... unexpected reactions. Someone said he saw in me "a hopeless romantic who just hasn't had the harsh realities of the world beat him into oblivion yet." Wasn't offended or anything; surprised me a bit, is all. Because this is really who I am. Given the option to see a helmet, or a dancing girl, I want to see the latter; I choose to see the latter, rather. I've seen it happen before; people get somewhat irritated with me when I go on about the beauty of the River persona. I guess because they feel reality is less stellar than the stars I dream on. But, honestly, I know reality is grim; I'm living it. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. Seen it all. But, as I was told, one fine day, "You just need to look with better eyes." I try that. I need that. I need to believe in River, and everything she stands for. Because, without River, this world is simply too overwhelming for me. "Little souls, big world," as she said so beautifully herself. That saying really gets to me, every time. ... And people wonder why I Love River; and I wonder why they're not ... Now, by far the greater irony is, that the Bushwhacked picture itself, in which I chose to see a beauty, regardless of whether it was objectively really there, is depicting precisely that! It shows River, gazing at the stars, full of amazement and awe, whereas, objectively, one might argue there's not much to see. Like Simon; he looks at River, confuzzled at why she marvels so. To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower; to hold eternity in the palm of your hand, and infinity in an hour! But now I get to the part that really chokes me up. Because my sweet River, a mentally traumatized 17-year-old girl, who certainly had the harsh realities of the world try and beat her into oblivion, she, of all people, (still) sees the beauty! She, who said she was found broken, is, at heart, least unbroken of all. /me, pauses to *cry* And that, my dear friends, gives me all manner of hope. Because if she, under those circumstances, can still see the beauty of life, then so can I.

MPHILLIPS

Well, fellow fans, it's has been a real tough day..My job requires me to be on call every third weekend..and this was mine..talk about problems..I've had some of everything today. From installing waterheaters to restringing furnace elements, I don't think I've sat for more than thirty minutes all day.. It's 11:15 pm and I'm just now setting down..Haven't had a chance to do any drawing today (gasps of disappointment echo throughout fandom) I'll try to make it up to you guys with some requests tomorrow.. COMICBOOK UPDATE..My comic is just not turning out like I thought it would ...Maybe you fanfic writers can help me out..I seem to have written myself into a corner and can't for the life of me figure out where to go next...I've got several scenes plotted but getting to those scenes in a coherent story is baffling me...as I've said before..I'm not a writer, I'm a drawer (the pencil kind not the sock kind) Well I'd better get some sleep, and judging by the above pun, it's way past due...'Night, all...

CEDRIC

On the Drift: Music Inspired by Firefly and Serenity has hit #3 on the CDBaby charts! Check it out:

SERAFINA20

So, I've finally written more Passenger. Does anyone even remember it? I'll try not to let so much time pass between this part and the next. I just was very, very blocked for awhile.

DAVESHAYNE

First off I'd like to thank everybody for their kind comments and advice. After a bit of hemming and hawwing I did decide to sign up for the Netflix. I signed up for the 1 disc at a time cheapo option we'll se how that goes. Secondly some may know that I had an order for some Firefly stuff at amazon. It arrived containing The Firefly soundtrack, Serenity: Those Left Behind the TPB, MASH a novel of three army doctors, and a free sample of deoderant. To quote Strong Bad, "Ought I to be offended?" Just because I'm ordering geeky sci fi stuff I smell? The noive of 'em. Anyway mini-review time. Firefly Soundtrack: Good stuff though I wish they had included "The Hero of Canton." I supose that it would have deflated the mood or something but they could have tagged it on at the ned I think without it getting in the way of the serious composing of the rest of the disc. Serenity: Those Left Behind. I think I prefer the comic books for ease of reading but if you don't already have those this book compiles them all with all 9 of the covers spread out through the book as full page portraits. If you do have all 9 covers then the only thing new here is the introduction by Nathan (which is good.) Of course if you have all 9 of the covers already (like me) then you will buy this anyway because you are a rabid completist. MASH a novel of three army doctors: This is where it all began. Both gentler (in parts) and more viscious (in other parts) than the movie this episodic psuedo-memoir of life as a draftee doctor in the korean war is entertaining and ocasionally thought provoking. I haven't tried the deoderant yet.

TAYEATRA

Yes folks, tomorrow is the 27th of February and all you UK browncoats know what that means... SERENITY IS RELEASED ON REGION 2 DVD! Having patiently waited so much longer than everyone else in the world our loyalty will finally be rewarded :biggrin: with some thrilling heroics of our very own :blast:. I've had my Amazon dispatch email so I know my pre-order is on its way and wow i'm excited :biggrin: (did I mention that already?) Admitedly the special features won't be a patch on the Region 1, just like the Firefly box set lacks the extra 'trans-atlantic' flair,:finger: but still, I've waited so patiently. The cynical part of me is now acknowledging that in less than a week I'll be trying to purchase the region 1 having despaired at the lack of a decent commentary/deleted scenes etc, and i'll probably be banging my head against a brick wall at the delivery costs :banghead: but that does not detract from this very special moment. I'm so excited! :biggrin: (I'm also trying to work out if *giddy* is an acceptable term!)

SIGMANUNKI

Sorry, just had to let out a virtual scream. Pf is being a b:censored: right now. Can't seem to get my rdr rules to jive just so. And no errors to speak of to get any debugging info at all. Anyway, back to work *sigh* EDIT: It works now :smile: Thanks to someone on misc _at_ openbsd _dot_ org who pointed me a right direction.