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« Show all entries for FEBRUARY 2005
Thursday, 24 February 2005 05:03:07
...to ruin a perfectly good dream. So I was sleeping pretty hard, as I do now that I think I'm 18 and started rowing at 5 am again, minding my own buisiness, when a couple of reavers show up and, I'm man enough to admit, freak me out. As far as I was concerned I was on my last ship hanging out in the hanger watching one of the manliest women I know do pushups with one of my high school friends standing on her back. I suppose I should have recognized the forshadowing when a man with a knife lunged at me demanding that I learn to protect myself. Then I'm in space, on a ship that is definitely not Serenity, crewed by our BDH's (and me, though I can only assume I was there as cannon fodder) when some reavers showed up and got on board. The entire crew, except for Book, uncharateristically ran away screaming. So it's me and Book fighting two reavers. He was pretty much a badass. I was pretty much a little girl. It was scary and I woke up feeling emasculated. Gorram reavers. Droppy
Thursday, 24 February 2005 13:22:20
Well it's like 8:00 in the morning and I just found out school has been cancelled due to the snow. I'll never understand these easterners, but I'm not complaining. I've got season 4 of CSI to catch up on. Actually, I could be/should be working on a paper, but why waste a perfect afternoon of idleness and relaxation.
Thursday, 24 February 2005 16:01:36
it feels like a beast sliding inside me, clawing it's way out and I have to keep batting it's paws cuz we can't hurt the customers. i honestly don't know what it is but sometimes it really is like that, some darkness is screaming for primal takeover. illogical irrational raw power that is more me than anything in this world and I have to deny it, stuff it down, suffocate it because this world can't handle it? i have no idea what to do with it? imagine oliver asking for just one bowl of porridge and being handed a feast of filet mignon, chicken marsala, exquisite pasta and chocolate covered strawberries. if you've never been neglected and abused in life you just won't get this. but you either don't reach for the food cuz you know it's a cruel joke or else you eat it and don't taste it cuz you are wondering when the next shoe will drop and make it all worse than before.
