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« Show all entries for JULY 2004
Sunday, 18 July 2004 04:44:03
Ok well I just thought that I'd put a link here to my own blog site just in case anyone is interested. :) www.livejournal.com/users/80sfiend
Sunday, 18 July 2004 18:06:31
Are artist crused? Desetioned to die young? or have tragic lives? are Artist like torutered poets who have to have diversity in their lives to be creative? does creativy fed off of dispear?
Sunday, 18 July 2004 21:18:21
so I'm the assistant manager of a movie theater in itty bitty Oxford Maine. I'm salary so I get screwed. but I got insurance so I stayed. now it takes everything I have, admitedly not much, to get out of bed every day. this is not something new for me. I've had depression issues for most of my life. whats new? nothing. its the same old "somethings running me down" as it always is. what do I do? I'm not sure. I have a perscription from my shrink that says, "quit you job now"... wish I could but I feel like I won't find anthing better... this wouldn't be so hard if... why can't I do this... why can't I do this job..... and its me. I can't do this job and its me that is the problem. too sick. too hurt. too depressed. too antisocial. too shy. too ... me. so I need to function as me. how do I do that? I think I'm figuring some stuff out.
Sunday, 18 July 2004 21:25:20
I applied to become a member 3 years ago, but thats when my health finally failed. problems that were just mental have now manafested in a physical way. so I declined a job with them because I would be out with no human contact and no electricity... which actually sounds awesome, but I need to refridgerate my meds... and I tend to pass out... so it was a no. I turned it down. fiance left me. droped out of college. stopped eating. lost 100 pounds. had a stay @ the hospital. moved back in with the parents. started work at a place now known as hell..... BUT TODAY I TOOK THE FIRST STEP. I sent in 3 applications to americorps, for more civilized positions... doing something I like? living with a man I LOVE? kitten named jayne? dog named haylee? maybe this is my out. of hell.