The MUCH Faster Loading, Floating Tree house

POSTED BY: mai
UPDATED: Friday, January 28, 2005 03:06
VIEWED: 24293
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MAI

Sunday, January 16, 2005 6:12 AM

Well, here we go. It's moving day! How we are going to move the tree onto the boat is beyond me, but we got some real genius (and hopefully exteremly brawny) types that can figure out all the logistics and such. Welcome aboard everyone.
Mai

THEREALME

Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:14 AM

* A spot of light appears on the wall of the common room of the perhaps-soon-to-be-floating treehouse, it expands to be a ring of fire around a dark void. From this void steps The Real Me. *

Ah, so THERE you are.

A FLOATING Treehouse? Who would think of such a weird idea as... oh, never mind.

* The Real Me strikes a "contemplative" pose. *

Well, I suppose that with his telekinesis boosted by Inola Teg's blood running through his veins, PsychicRiver can just LIFT us all. He could probably uproot the tree entirely and we can go floating where we want. Well, where HE wants. Flying, I should say.

But if we just move the TreeHOUSE (just the building) and set it on a boat... I mean, can we really have a Treehouse without a TREE????

Oh, Rat, glad you could make it! You came just before we moved to another thread. We do that from time to time, you see. In fact...

* The Real Me counts to himself, ticking off fingers one by one. *

This is the fifth clubhouse/treehouse thread that I have personally inhabited, and there were at least two more before my time when Mal-licious and Ebonezer started it all.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:26 AM

Can I have that shelf over there, I need it for my RootBeer collection!

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:40 AM

Shelf?

Why, Rat, you may have your very own ROOM!

You will no doubt notice that the Treehouse is MUCH larger inside than it is on the outside. That is because every time we need more room, I just fold space over through a higher dimension and suddenly, I have doubled our living space. It's quite efficient, really.

Oh, this is the Ebo Golem, a statue I animated after my robot was destroyed fighting the Eldritch Horror. The Ebo Golem will help you move your things, or do other simple tasks. It is very strong, and nearly unbreakable, but not very bright.

However, don't confuse it with Ebo, our fearless leader. Ebonezer, I should say.

The Real Me

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RAT

Sunday, January 16, 2005 8:16 AM

Tell me of Inola Teg while Ebo Golem moves the following RootBeers.

--------------------

Hank's
A&W
Goose Island
IBC
Sioux City
Sprecher
Cool Mountain
Jones
Frostie
Barq's
Journey
Briar's
Briar's(made with pure cane sugar)
Virgil's
Tommyknocker
Natural Brew
Boylan
Steaz
Pirate's Keg
Stewart's

--------------------

-Ratboy

MAI

Sunday, January 16, 2005 11:45 AM

You're right TRM, I guess we don't really need the tree itself to continue living in the tree house, although wouldn't that make it a boat house? Of course the boat is probably made at least partly of wood and the wood would (he he) come from a tree so technically its still a house made of tree. Right?
Oh geez, I have a headache now ... too much thinking.. I hope that the bar is already full stocked and functional. Now that that the move is underway, I think it is time to stretch out on the deck and relax for a little... OMG where are the life jackets?!

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 16, 2005 3:07 PM

Lifejackets? Pah. This treehouse is unsinkable, I tell you. Picasso? He'll never be famous, mark my words.

Sorry, I seem to be channelling Billy Zane. Still, at least he was good in Demon Knight. Right, now then, having lived on a boat myself (One shaped like an enormous bottle. No, really.) I have some advice and safety instructions:

1) I'm supplying you all with special drinking vessels. Notice how the bottom is much broader than the top? That's so they don't spill when the boat is at an angle.

2) If you do fall in the river, yell "MAN OVERBOARD" as loudly as you can, even if you are a woman. Although "WOMAN OVERBOARD" would be more accurate, the extra syllable used could prove fatal.

3) Get used to the slant. No boat is perfectly balanced in the water, even if its contents are dimensionally transcendent.

4) No-one is to do any drilling downwards if they are standing at the bottom of the boat. If you need to be told why, kindly hand your drilling equipment over now. Also please remove any drilling equipment that may be in the possession of your cats.

Great. I think we're all set. Oh, and everyone's okay with river rats, right?

THEREALME

Sunday, January 16, 2005 5:09 PM

HOLD IT!

There are a few things that MUST happen before we sail away in our Treehouse-ship!

First, PsychicRiver must pick up the tree and/or treehouse and place it in the water or on a ship.

Second, we must have a way to MOVE our Treehouse-ship. We don't want to just drift.

Third, we must have provisions for a proper journey... though I suppose that I could just gate things in as we need them.... Okay. Scratch that one.

Third (again) we must wait for our crew. Has everyone made the leap from the New Faster Loading Treehouse? And will Zoid be satisified with his establishment being towed behind us in a dingy? I haven't seen ThatWeirdGirl or Mal-licious. I know that they survived Inola Teg, and I'd hate to leave them behind.

Fourth, we must wait for Ebo. Ebo always wanted to be a pirate captain. Or a else a princess.

* The Real Me starts tinkering with the controls of ManiacNumberOne's solar collectors shaped like butterflies. *

Hmmmmm... Perhaps I can get some motive power out of these...

The Real Me

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RAT

Sunday, January 16, 2005 5:23 PM

IN-O-LA TEG????

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Sunday, January 16, 2005 5:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Tele me of Inola Teg while Ebo Golem moves the following root beers.

-Ratboy

Rat! That is quite the collection!

Oh, might we have one bottle with which to christen our new ship? I suppose that Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, or Mal-licious could whack it across the bow.

Here, I'll trade you some ice cream from the Purple Dimension.

Sorry, but I really don't have time to relate the complete tale of Inola Teg, Eldritch Horror from the Purple Dimension. But if you go to the previous Treehouse thread and start reading from about January 1, you can catch up quickly enough.

I suppose I will have to develop a history/directory of all of our clubhouses, and links to the same. I'll do that eventually, but for now (from memory) they are:

The "I am not a Guy" clubhouse. This was started by Mal-licious and Ebonezer, who were annoyed at the gender confusion they constantly encountered.

The "I am not a Girl" clubhouse. This was started by guys jealous of the previous thread, and ran simultaneously with it. There were raids and wars between them as they stole cool items from each other.

The era of the dual threads ended with Gunhand on the roof (some roof) in a kilt, but don't ask me. That was before my time.

The Forgotten I am not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse, which is in the Talk Story forum, started by Mal-licious and combining the previous threads into one. This was a place for the ladies to come and relax and be pampered by the slavishly attentive males. However, the ladies lost all their cabana-boys when they started talking about making them into eunuchs. I joined the thread at about this time and created my robot, Sparky, to help out. I created the "Whack-a-Fox-Executive" machine (it's like a "Whack-a-Mole" game, but more satisfying). Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, and I had one killer party toward the end of that thread. ThatWeirdGirl introduced the concept of Pepsimilk.

The "I am not gonna be depressed about the delay" clubhouse, which is in General Discussions. It was started by Ebo when we heard that the BDM was being moved from an April release to a September release. Ebo decided that this new clubhouse would be a treehouse. This is the time I really started to explore other dimensions, and found one that actually bottled Pepsimilk. Toward the end of that thread, Ebo led us in a righteous war against the tyranny of the Three Switches thread ("I know what the Three Switches do"). SimonWho was our arch-enemy in those days (he even made ThatWeirdGirl cry), but we have since made peace and he has joined us here, among the victors.

The Faster Loading Treehouse (just for Maniac), also in General. Hmmmm... I don't really remember what happened here, aside from more extra-dimensional trips for Pepsimilk. Oh, ManiacNumberOne created the butterfly-shaped solar collectors on the roof, and we started claiming and sharing our rooms in the Treehouse.

Edit: Also, after leaving a cryptic note, PsychicRiver was kidnapped back to the Three Switches thread, and hurt badly. ThatWeirdGirl, Ebo, and Mal-licious, I believe, performed the rescue.

The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse, also in General.
This started with drunken revelry that resulted in the crafting of the Effigy of Ebo. It ended with an attack by the Eldrtch Horror from the Purple Dimension, our plans for dealing with it, and the great victory won by ThatWeirdGirl. Then we started counting casualties and rebuiding. Since my robot, Sparky, had been destroyed, I animated the Ebo Golem out of the Effigy of Ebo.

And this, the MUCH Faster Loading, Floating Treehouse. Well, you know what has happened so far, here.

Hmmm... I could turn this into a real research project, with links and everything...

Huh. I suppose that I had time to tell you about Inola Teg, after all...

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:29 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Rat! That is quite the collection!

Oh, might we have one bottle with which to christen our new ship?
Here, I'll trade you some ice cream from the Purple Dimension.

Here, will Pirate's Keg do?

MMM,

Good ice cream, perhaps I will make a root beer float.

-Ratboy

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 17, 2005 12:31 AM

I made it!

omg, someone made reference to the drilling cats! SimonWho is so with it.

I'm great with a paddle, rudder, or sail, if there is need.

arghh,
mad anne rackham, aka twg

www.thatweirdgirl.com

RAT

Monday, January 17, 2005 12:47 AM

note:(This will probably happen often.)

"The Drilling Cats"???

Please explain!

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Monday, January 17, 2005 12:56 AM

Do we HAVE to float on water? I get sea-sick. Can't we just have PR float us where we want to go?

I will only whack an empty bottle on the prow. Why waste good booze?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 17, 2005 1:14 AM

the drilling cats aren't a treehouse thing. rent some Eddie Izzard stuff and laugh your arse off. i think the cats are in Unrepeatable, but Dressed to Kill is absolutely mandatory for life.

So Rat, you ready for some very odd pool? rack'em!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

SIMONWHO

Monday, January 17, 2005 1:58 AM

Excellent, I have an idea for our first scheduled activity on the floating treehouse: a screening night!

Now normally we should christen our houses with a Firefly episode of choice but as someone asked about the drilling cats, may I introduce/further your knowledge of/remind you what's so great about Mr Eddie Izzard.

For those of you who don't know Eddie Izzard is a stand-up comedian who has also branched out into acting, political campaigns and writing. He's very surreal, he's a crossdresser and he's probably the best comic to come out of the UK in the last 15 years or so.

What's particularly nice is that over here, just about all of his stand-up videos have been released now on DVD so we could watch one of them in lovely digital clarity. But which?

Live at the Ambassadors: lots of lovely lines ("I'm a one man idiot") but it's not on DVD so not that one.

Unrepeatable: Again, very good and also on DVD plus it has "This is a 14th century Ming... thing. Made out of Ming by Mr. Ming during the Ming Period. If you don't like Ming, don't touch this one." and Eddie being tolerant of homophobes (as long as they do it behind closed doors and don't hurt anyone...)

Definite Article: I saw this show live twice, once in London then a few months later in Glasgow and the second time I saw it, I busted my jaw from laughing so hard. Sample quote:

Quote:
Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. "In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal... one horse threw a shoe came in third... the duck was ninth... Five ran."

Hmmm. I think we'll put on Unrepeatable as that explains the cats drilling. Like so:

Quote:
Cats go (purrs loudly), because they’re drilling, aren’t they? That’s what they’re doing. They’re drilling, they drill for gold! They drill for oil, they drill for anything! Just for the love of drilling! When they’re behind your sofa, they’re just drilling. (mimes drilling) They’ve got goggles on, it’s okay! There’s a compressor over there… Your friends come and say,

“I think your cat’s drilling behind your sofa!”

“I don’t think so, that’s purring, that noise, isn’t it? Cat, are you drilling?”

And the cat hears this, whips off the goggles, (mimes coming from behind the sofa), “No, no… Drilling? No! No, I’m a cat! How would I know how to drill? That’s purring you’re thinking of, purring! Oh, yes, purring! Having a good ole purr back here… no drilling. No, no, okay… “(mimes putting goggles back on and resuming drilling) Sometimes they drill 40, 50 feet, you know, just for the hell of it.

So I'll put that DVD on now. For those of you without the Treehouse-Video-Watching plug-in, you can either buy the DVD (highly recommended) or read the transcript of the show here:
http://auntiemomo.com/cakeordeath/unrepeatabletranscript.html

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 17, 2005 4:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Excellent, I have an idea for our first scheduled activity on the floating treehouse: a screening night!
Unrepeatable: Again, very good and also on DVD.

So I'll put that DVD on now. For those of you without the Treehouse-Video-Watching plug-in, you can either buy the DVD (highly recommended) or read the transcript of the show.

netflix it!

*twg finally turns off the tivo of BSG*

I'm soo excited.

So, um has our fealess leader arrived yet?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Monday, January 17, 2005 5:37 AM

* The Real Me climbs to the top of the highest branch of the Treehouse tree and reaches up to tap one of the solar collector butterflies with a pencil. Suddenly, it starts humming, flips around three times and then adopts a rigid vertical position. All the other butterflies follow suit, orienting themselves exactly in the same direction, and the humming increases. The tree starts to vibrate, then starts to bend to one side. *

* With a smile on his face, The Real Me makes his way down the branch, then slides down a ladder to the Treehouse common room. By this time, the floor displays a noticible tilt. The Real Me flips a switch on one wall. The humming stops, the tree springs back, and the floor returns to level. *

SUCCESS! I have converted our solar collectors into reactionless thruster units. Once we get out onto the open sea, we can use them to push our Treehouse ship anywhere we like!

But no, ThatWeirdGirl, I haven't seen Ebo or PsychicRiver anywhere.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THEREALME

Monday, January 17, 2005 5:43 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Do we HAVE to float on water? I get sea-sick. Can't we just have PR float us where we want to go?

I will only whack an empty bottle on the prow. Why waste good booze?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

Uh, well, there is no good reason to prevent us from floating in the AIR. It depends on the power output of PsychicRiver and/or my new thrusters. Hmmmm... Perhaps the thrusters can have us hover in mid-air...

As soon as Ebo arrives, we can give it a try.

The Real Me

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RAT

Monday, January 17, 2005 8:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
I will only whack an empty bottle on the prow. Why waste good booze?

I don't think root beer counts as booze.

-Ratboy

PSYCHICRIVER

Monday, January 17, 2005 2:06 PM

Ack! I'm here!

Sorry, I was rather busy. Ooh! A boat! I just love the sea! And the air! Flying is cool ...*hovers around*...see?

Well, if the butterfly things can float us, then I can sustain my power enough to steer us anywhere. But I would like the sea! We could hover in the air over the sea sometimes i guess!

Okay, you might wanna clear the deck guys. I'm gonna shift the treeouse down here. Anyone still in the house, stay away from the doors and hold on to something Maybe Golem Ebo's Penni!?

*Concentrates one the treehouse. Holds out hands, and raises it slowly...*

My god this rocks.

*brings the treehouse over the boat and gently lowers it down.* There. But, ack! Where will my cat pee? And...stuff?

Right now, TRM, don't forget that in the FLT I believe I was kidnpped by....actually....we don't know who it was do we?

Well anyway, in the words ok Kaylee: All aboard.

That means you Ebo!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THEREALME

Monday, January 17, 2005 3:51 PM

* The Real Me frowns as he realizes that PsychicRiver moved the TREEHOUSE and the butterfly thrusters were attached to the TREE. *

Come, Ebo Golem! We have a little work to do!

* After about an hour, The Real Me and Ebo Golem have transplanted the hundred butterflies one by one to the Faster Loading.... Shiphouse? When idle, they constantly flutter above the ship. When in operation, they all line up together like a sail. *

Whew! Well, that's done. All we need now is our captain.

* The Real Me moves to the bow of the ship to keep lookout for Ebo, a bottle of Pirate Keg root beer in his hand. *

Oh, PsychicRiver, don't worry about your pets. I can use my dimensional portals to take them for walks on dry land. But... why isn't your cat using a litter box?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 17, 2005 8:55 PM

Root beer, right. We'll have to work on that. See, here in the houses threads, we drink a select few beverages. Pepsimilk being one, and underrated by most. Frozen Lemonade, for those that need a hard lemonade but cannot yet partake. Rich dark ale from Zoid's bar. Margaritas for Mal as she relaxes in the hammock. And the occassional guacamole spiked punch.

*twg thinks back to fond memories of childhood and frothy root beer at the drive in*

I admit, I like root beer. Perhaps we can make some counter space for a few bottles.

Mal, we can finish off this bottle of Cpt Morgan for you to break.
*holds up a gallon of the captain* I thought it would be a bit more piratey.

I see no reason why we can't float in the sky. Sky Pirates.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MAI

Monday, January 17, 2005 9:42 PM

It's so nice to have everyone back together again. I have to say I like the idea of flying more so than the floating. I for one am not a good swimmer. Also motion sickness, not fun. Anyway, I have a question. Since we are now flying does that make us a ship like Serenity (except of course for the tree thing, and the attached bar, well ok not really like Serenity at all, but you know what I mean)? If so, I think the ship should have name other than "the tree house boat." I am sure between us all we can come up with something. Any clever ideas?

MALICIOUS

Monday, January 17, 2005 9:53 PM

TWG!

Arrrr! An empty Capt. Morgan bottle be good!

*T*H*W*A*C*K!* (glass shatters)

The S.S. Sereni-TREE is hereby christened! (Anybody have ANYthing better? Please? That sucks.)

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

PSYCHICRIVER

Monday, January 17, 2005 10:04 PM

I like S.S.Sereni-TREE!!

Oh thanks TRM, my cat is haous-trained to poo in the garden - she buries it!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

MAI

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:07 AM

"The S.S. Sereni-TREE is hereby christened! (Anybody have ANYthing better? Please? That sucks.)"

That is hilarious and also very fitting. I really like it Mal. Great idea.

Guess what? I just played my very first game of pool ever! And wow do i suck (i don't know all the rules, but I am pretty sure that the balls are suppose to remain on the table) ... ah well, maybe some of you all can give me some pointers.

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:13 AM

Thanks, Mai! But I know SOMEONE can think of a better name.

Oh, I'm pretty sure you just keep hitting the white ball into the pockets.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 2:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

Arrrr! An empty Capt. Morgan bottle be good!

*T*H*W*A*C*K!* (glass shatters)

The S.S. Sereni-TREE is hereby christened! (Anybody have ANYthing better? Please? That sucks.)

*Rat looks disappointed* Fine, then can I at least have my root beer back.

Oh and I like "S.S. Sereni-TREE" it works!

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 5:06 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

Fine, then can I at least have my root beer back.
-Ratboy

Mmmmmmuh?

* The Real Me hides the empty root beer bottle behind him, and quickly wipes the froth from his mouth. *

Uh, I’m very sorry, Rat, but I’m afraid that your root beer cannot be returned at this time. It is necessary that I withhold it, for the time being, for… uh… classified purposes. Yes, as soon as you pass Blue level clearance, I’ll tell you all about it.

Now, on to other matters!

I have compiled a crew roster of the Sereni-TREE. I have included everyone who has made at least two posts in either this thread or the previous NEW FLT thread since the resolution of the Inola Teg incident. Anyone else we can assume either ran away or got eaten.

In memory of Shw, I propose that we proudly display the flag she made us. For ManiacNumberOne, we have the butterflies he created, now one of our means of propulsion. As for The Grey Jedi... well, we still have his trebuchet on the roof and about 40 metric tons of SPAM in the cargo hold. I’m sure that will give us cause to remember him.

For everyone else who is missing… sorry, I don’t recall anything specific that any of them did.

The crew roster currently includes:

Ebonezer (once she returns)
Mai
Mal-licious
PsychicRiver
Rat
SimonWho
ThatWeirdGirl
TheRealMe
Zoid

I suppose that I could leave a dimensional portal open near the Treehouse Tree that leads into the Sereni-TREE, in case we get any stragglers returning. Come to think of it, we could have it open onto Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree, and we won’t even have to move it. Zoid would probably appreciate not having to relocate his establishment to a dingy.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 5:33 AM

(all ghost like) Eebooneezzerr! Eeboooneeeeeeezzerr!!

Has it been done?

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 5:40 AM

* After constructing controls with which to pilot the Sereni-TREE, The Real Me goes off to his room for a time, and returns with a fancy black coat that might have once been worn by Londo Mollari of B5. He puts it on with great ceremony. Then he places a three-corner hat on his head, buckles on a scabbard containing a cutlass, and jams a pistol into his belt. Then he goes over to the remains of the bar and fixes himself a hard lemonade. He takes a bite as he gathers everyone together. *

It has been several days since we last heard from Ebonezer. We do not know what might have happened to our fearless leader or where she might be. Those who know her would realize that she would not normally stay away so long.

So, I am hereby assuming command of the Sereni-TREE.

We will depart immediately, on our very first mission. I call it: “Sereni-TREE 1: In Search of Ebo”.

Of course, since we have a pirate-like organization, any of you are allowed to duel me for the position of command.

* The Real Me dashes the remains of his hard lemonade to the ground for effect, draws his cutlass, and adopts a ridiculous-looking fencing stance. *

Well, what do you say?

Oh, right… I should conclude with ‘ARRGH, me maties!’

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 6:31 AM

*Rat comes in and says* Looky here I have stuff to put up on the walls!

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=&pos=3

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=&pos=0

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=0&pos=7

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=0&pos=12

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=0&pos=17

www.knepix.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&album=las
tup&cat=0&pos=8

I know the guy that made them, so I got a good deal!!

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:23 AM

*bump* for KGB.

Everyone give her a warm welcome!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

CAGEYBEE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:38 AM

*stands on the shore, looking forlorn, kicking shyly at the ground*

Uh, I know I'm re-new, but I was actually a member of the original Not a Boy Clubhouse, and would very much like to be on the Sereni-Tree.

Given your illustrious heritage, do I need to have an induction ceremony? Test my knowledge?

I possess some Ebo looking skills, as she is a former band member and what some might call a friend. I only want to help.

*holds up her seasickness bag* Its only for emergencies, I swear!

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:41 AM

Welcome, and do you like the walls?(hee hee)

-Ratboy

CAGEYBEE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:51 AM

Shiny pics, Rat. And thanks for the welcome.

I hear you collect root beer, some of the Sioux City variety. I live near there and must know how it rates.

Also, as my addition to the the Sereni-TREE, I would like to introduce the 'This Land' room. Plastic dinos will, of course, be provided.

Cheers!

edit - I found Ebo!

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

EBONEZER

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 3:33 AM

*From some hidden place a fanfair of trumpets, horns, drums, guitars, air guitars, and a dumb ass stick that sounds like its raining begen playing. From the sky, a horse or flying hoover vehicle that KGB has yet to invent a cool name for comes floating down. Atop it, in all her shiny glory sits Ebonezer!*

People of the treehouse, rejoice! For the Mighty Ebonezer has returned!

*Ebo jumps down from the flying hoover horse thing and lands in a heap on the deck, but jumps up before anyone notices.*

You! (TRM) I will resume my duties now! Gimmie the sword! I've always wanted one of those!

In celebration of my return/the completed finding me mission/christing of sereni-tree/return of KGB (my VIFG (very important first groupie) we shall have...a gala!

All crewmembers (even the menfolk, hell, ESPECIALY the menfolk) must wear a slinky or frilly dress. Personaly, i like something with a little slink in it, but thats just me.

We'll sail the seas (and/or skys) and sing! Songs! About us! That someone else can write!

And we will be fantabulous!

(ain't we just.)

--------------------------------

PS - OMG GUYS! I feel SOOO loved! I was sitting here reading this and bursting out laughing at everything me-related (because lets face it, i think a lot of myself). Anyway, thanks for waiting for me!

(i was foxhunting all weekend, wacky fun that was.)

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 3:44 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
I hear you collect root beer, some of the Sioux City variety. I live near there and must know how it rates.

(Pop-fizz-glug-glug) Just so so, about a 5!
I think it says it's made in New York.

Quote:
edit - I found Ebo!

Where was she hiding?

-Ratboy

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 3:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
we shall have...a gala!

All crewmembers (even the menfolk, hell, ESPECIALY the menfolk) must wear a slinky or frilly dress. Personaly, i like something with a little slink in it, but thats just me.

um I think I'm doing something that night...when was it?

-Ratboy

CAGEYBEE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 4:00 AM

Captain, can I have some money for a slinky dress?

As the VIFG, I assume it is my role to loudly applaud Ebo's return (from her undisclosed location - sorry, Rat, I am sworn to secret secrecy. Its not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can't talk about it and I can't say why.)

*claps until she sees she's the only one doing it....then keeps clapping anyway*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 4:24 AM

OMG!!!!!

KGB has returned to the clubhouse. The Fireflies can once again play their beautimous music for us.

Our Great Ebo has returned. I was worried the nuns had kidnapped you again.

*twg skips excitedly around the room, clapping and laughing at Ebo and KGB's return*
www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 5:55 AM

* The Real Me nods smugly, quite pleased with himself. *

Excellent! Immediately upon my assuming command and announcing the commencement of “Sereni-TREE 1: In Search of Ebo”, Ebo was found! I consider this the successful completion of my first command! “Sereni-TREE 1: In Search of Ebo”, is hereby CONCLUDED!

* The Real Me salutes Ebonezer. *

Welcome aboard, Captain. The ship is yours!

* The Real Me removes his heavy black coat and drapes it around Ebo’s smaller form. He takes his three-corner hat and plops it on her head. Then with a smile, he unbuckles the belt with the scabbard… and the pistol falls to the ground, goes off, and shoots The Real Me in the left foot. *

Ow!

* With a painful grimace, The Real Me bends down to pick up the pistol, then limps over to Ebo and buckles the belt with the scabbarded cutlass around her waist. *

We are ready for departure, Captain, on your order.

* The Real Me turns to the “stranger”. *

Welcome, CageyBee! Indeed, yes, I have heard of you. You were a figure of legend when I joined this site.

* Gritting his teeth in pain, The Real Me helps CageyBee aboard the Sereni-TREE. *

You are most welcome! You may pick your own cabin from among those available. I believe that everything in the east wing is vacant.

The Crew List of the Sereni-TREE now consists of:

CageyBee
Ebonezer
Mai
Mal-licious
PsychicRiver
Rat
SimonWho
ThatWeirdGirl
TheRealMe
Zoid

* The Real Me turns back to Ebo. *

I will soon be ready for “Sereni_TREE 2: The Gala Celebration”, although there is a small matter that I must attend to first.

* The Real Me limps away toward his room, leaving a trail of blood behind him. He stops when he nears SimonWho. *

Uh, Doctor? Do you think you can take a look at this?

* The Real Me collapses from blood loss. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MAI

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:00 AM

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you just keep hitting the white ball into the pockets."

Fantastic! As it turns out I am very good at doing exactly this, while managing to avoid every other ball on the table. It also turns out I really love this game even though I am possibly the worst player ever.

Everyone put your helmet on! I'm rackin' 'em up!

MAI

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:05 AM

Welcome home Captain Ebo! Good to see ya again.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:15 AM

At ease crew! And You, thanks for keeping the seat warm for me.

*Ebo adjusts the hat and makes sure there's no more lead in the pistol. Gunshot wounds can be nasty. Worse then tiger bites, she's heard.*

Oh hey! Mai! Lets play pool! It'll be wacky fun! We can play while they set up for this gala thing.

Oh and will somebody take You some ice or something? That screaming is getting a tad out of hand...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

MAI

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:24 AM

Sure thing Ebo. You any good? If so, I could really use some help. If not, we could always just clear it off and use to as stage to dance on.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:25 AM

Oh man, I'm TERRIBLE. We should plau for a while though, then we can do the happy dance of joy on the pool table.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

MAI

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 6:30 AM

Good call. I guess that's why you're the Captain and I'm just the lowly... well not really sure what it is I do, though I'm sure it's very important, yea ok... so you go first.

*Mai hands Ebo the shiny (Shiny!) golden pool cue*

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 7:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
we can do the happy dance of joy on the pool table.

Shall I summon Numfar, sir, to do the dance of joy for you?

-Ratboy

SIMONWHO

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 9:39 AM

Ebo! KGB! Now, this is a happening!

*examines TheRealMe's foot*

Nope, I'm sorry, it's going to have to be cut off.

*reaches over for a knife*

Hold still.

*slices*

There we go, that's taken your shoe off, now I'll just numb the pain in your foot and remove the bullet, then bandage you up, good as new.

Men in dresses? Me in a dress? Naughty ebonezer.

THEREALME

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 3:21 PM

* The Real Me has a very bad dream where Ebo and the Ebo Golem are having a loud argument about whether they should wear a frilly dress or a slinky dress. Meanwhile, a slinky walks down the stairs nearby. The Ebo Golem is so angry that she is jumping up and down... on The Real Me's foot. It hurts. From somewhere, the haunting sounds of a Dumb Stick Sounds Like It's Rainin' comes to The Real Me's ears. And who in blazes is Numfar? Should Numfar be added to the Crew List? *

* The Real Me wakes himself up quickly, before he moves into a ThatWeirdGirl kind of dream. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

PSYCHICRIVER

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 8:16 PM

Ebo! Your back! And you bought a friend!

KGB, hi! I don't believe we've met, but your enterage precedes you! Hi, I'm PsychicRiver. Welcome aboard!

Numfar is a character from Angel.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 8:27 PM

And not just any character on Angel he's played by Joss himself!!

Look at the bottom of this thread.

www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=10&t=8135

-Ratboy

CAGEYBEE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 8:30 PM

Numfar is here?!? This is a better treehouse/clubhous/hoverhouse/cool place than I thought!

Also, SimonWho, I don't ever really recall harassing....er,talking....to you and according to the historical documents, you were once an adversary. So forgive my continual checking of your hands for a bluish tint.

*eyes SimonWho's hands from afar*

PsychicRiver, I have an entourage? I told my second grade teacher I would! Goes to show what she knows! Anyway, hello and I'm sure our times together will be fruitful and glorious.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

SIMONWHO

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 11:53 PM

Ah yes, I may not have been around when you first were but I did a big read up of old threads when I first arrived so I feel I know you (and several others who aren't around anymore).

And yes I was an adversary but that only because I was happily based in another thread when some mad woman started an assault on it for no reason. All self-defence until we worked out our differences.

Yeah, what is it with teachers being unable to predict the future of their students? I think they just try to put us down in case we surpass their lifetime achievements in our first few weeks in the outside world. Never mind, you have your entourage now. That'll show 'em.

Right, I think it's time for another showing of something or other. Any requests, suggestions? Or you could just go with a random pick of my own collection.

EBONEZER

Thursday, January 20, 2005 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

And yes I was an adversary but that only because I was happily based in another thread when some mad woman started an assault on it for no reason.

I wonder who that mad woman might have been? She was a great and fearless warrior she was...

Quote:

All self-defence until we worked out our differences.

I don't remember our differences being worked out...i just remember you moving in.

Ah well, I consider the good doctor a helpful addition to the treehouse, we have a lot of self induced gunshot wounds aroung here, not to mention pool cue related injuries.

Speaking of pool, i was just starting a game, wasn't I.

*Ebo picks up her prize pool cue (Once, three men came to out-pool me. The best of em carried this. I call her Vera. She's my very favorite cue.) (sorry.) She breaks the triangular cluster of balls on the opposite end of the table.*

Woo hoo! That red one just went in. I'm solids.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 2:18 AM

*Rat comes out of the kitchen pushing a cart*
I'v got creme brulee for all! Ebo Golem and Numfar will serve it while we watch...what are we watching SW?

(hint hint) ~(_8^(|)

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 20, 2005 2:22 AM

Is that Tom Servo?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 2:46 AM

doh!

-Ratboy

CAGEYBEE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 3:30 AM

*fearing self-inflicted gunshot wounds, KGB wraps herself completely in gauze, then ambles over to the good doc*

Uh, I found this in a closet...I can have it, right?

edit - also, if I could find a cabana boy/groupie/robotgroupiecabanaboy to spoon feed me my creme brulee...I think I accidentally wrapped my arms too tight....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

THEREALME

Thursday, January 20, 2005 7:24 AM

I'm quite sorry, Cageybee. The cabana boys are all gone, scared off long ago when the ladies threatened to turn them into eunuchs in a misguided attempt to control or punish them. I created Sparky to fill that servile role. His actual designation was "the Mechana-cabana-boy 3000". Sadly, he is currently in a poor state of repair due to the Inola Teg incident.

* The Real Me gestures to two and a half bucketfulls of Sparky that he has been collecting from around the common room over the last few days. *

You COULD have the Ebo Golem feed you, but I am not quite sure that it knows its own strength. After all, look at these hand prints it left in the refrigerator when I asked it to shut the door.

* Whispers. *

By the way, what IS creme brulee, anyway? A custard? A cheese casserole? Something ice creamy? What?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THEREALME

Thursday, January 20, 2005 7:34 AM

Oh, yes. And I can vouch for SimonWho, despite him once being on the wrong side. Why, aside from atrocities committed during the Three Switches War, I can't think of a single objectionable thing that he's done.

* The Real Me seems to consider this. *

Well, aside from possible involvement in the PsychicRiver kidnapping, but we really couldn't prove a thing against him.

* The Real Me whispers. *

He might be a Cylon in disguise... Or a Cyberman. I get those two confused all the time.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MAI

Thursday, January 20, 2005 8:44 AM

Ebo, nice shot. Was that luck or are you really a pool shark in disguise?

So when does the men in dresses part of the festivites begin? This I have to see.

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 9:08 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
He might be a Cylon in disguise.

A new one, or a shiny one?

-Ratboy

SIMONWHO

Thursday, January 20, 2005 10:05 AM

Me a Cylon? Can't be, all the men Cylons in the new series are really plain and old. Strange that all the women Cylons are young and hot then.

Right, okay somebody needs spoon feeding (other than your typical Fox viewer) and I think we have a vote for watching some MST3K. Well, I'm one of the few UK people into the show so luckily I can offer you either one of my downloaded episodes or I have Mitchell and Manos, the Hands of Fate on DVD. Take your pick, they're all really, really bad.

Oh, and watch out for snakes.

THEREALME

Thursday, January 20, 2005 3:21 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:

So when does the men in dresses part of the festivites begin? This I have to see.

Oh, right. The men in dresses part.

* The Real Me seems lost in thought for a moment, and you might hear him mutter... *

nut bowl?

* Then The Real Me shrugs, opens a hole in reality, and steps through. *

I'll return presently!

* The hole in reality closes behind him. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, January 21, 2005 12:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

* The Real Me wakes himself up quickly, before he moves into a ThatWeirdGirl kind of dream. *

yeah, those were pretty bizarre...

*twg rumages thru the costume box, again, and pulls out some very pretty frilly dresses*

Hey guys, I found some dresses. This one is a strapless black number with little red polka dots and a fluffy petticoat. This other one is a white lace halter dress with layers of laciness on the skirt.

*chirp, chirp*

no takers?

*twg hangs the dresses carefull on the door frame. she returns to the box in search of more dresses* Aha!! *twg carefully pulls out a slinky red dress to find a clingy blue sequin dress beneath it*

Hey You Guys! I found some slinky numbers. would you prefer the slinky ones? This red one is hot. Halter, tight, light red beading across bust and down left hip, with a severly angled hem showing alot of the right thigh. This blue one *gasp* oh my, the slit is all the way up to "here".

I volunteer to wear a tux and hat if you guys don the gowns.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

CAGEYBEE

Friday, January 21, 2005 12:55 AM

I will also wear a tux...as long as its slinky. With frilly socks underneath.

*runs to her new room in the east wing, a strip of gauze stuck to her shoe. returns with a large, red Miss 'Verse sash*

Maybe we could have some sort of competition to award this?

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, January 21, 2005 1:05 AM

I think white ruffled socks are the perfect accessory to the tux.

I can help choreograph the stage numbers. *chills run up and down twg's body* why am i so into this thing? does it seem right that I should want to see the men in dresses?

...I do have a rather unhealthy obsession with Eddie Izzard and Tim Curry.

Did I ever tell you that I wanted to be a ZZTop girl when I grew up? Sigh.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 21, 2005 4:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
...*returns with a large, red Miss 'Verse sash*

(Mal-Licious snatches the Miss 'Verse sash out of KGB's hand)

I'll take that, thank you.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

SIMONWHO

Friday, January 21, 2005 10:25 AM

So who's exactly competing for the Miss 'Verse sash, the ladies present or men in dresses? I'm confused.

And also I call shotgun on the cute red slinky outfit. Frilly is so not me.

MAI

Friday, January 21, 2005 12:19 PM

I think it should be the men in fancy (slinky or otherwise) dresses that compete. It can be the first annual FLFTH Cross Dressing Pageant! Come on... you know you want to.

BADGERSHAT

Friday, January 21, 2005 4:07 PM

You got room for me and my shiny hat in this here treehouse?

And by the way, has anyone considered, in lieu of a floating treehouse, perhaps we might try taking up residence in a private 747? MUCH easier to move around, s'long as we can find us a qualified pilot, of course... and then there's that fuel bill... and cleaning out the lavatories... and i shudder to think of what would happen if Zoid figured out how to run the P.A. system... on second thought, let's stick to the floating treehouse...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)

"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

COSMICFUGITIVE

Friday, January 21, 2005 7:13 PM

Hey guys. Is it okay to come aboard?
__________________________________________________

"I only fell is all."

SIMONWHO

Friday, January 21, 2005 7:32 PM

More = Merrier. Welcome on board both (and all and sundry)

Though I hope you like dresses.

We still need to decide what we're going to watch. I'll cue up Manos: the Hands of Fate, just in case.

MAI

Friday, January 21, 2005 7:56 PM

Welcome Jefe and Cosmic! Glad your here. What's your preference frilly or slinky?

MONTANAGIRL

Friday, January 21, 2005 8:44 PM

Hi all!
Simon- I also have Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Giant Spider Invasion if you need to borrow some more MST3K and really indoctrinate everyone.

That razorback hat lacks the subtle dignity of a cheesehead. - Servo

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, January 21, 2005 9:31 PM

We always have room for you. Welcome El Jefe and CosmicFugitive!

Now, i should warn you that the men are required to wear dresses and compete in a beauty competition judged by us women folk.

There is still the blue dress with the obscene slit, the white lace one, and the black polka dot dress available. They're over on the door. Of course you are welcome to wear a dress of your own making.

*eyeing the blue dress, she suddenly realizes that it would not fit el jefe...the slit* oh my

Perhaps you'd like the fluffy black one?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

BADGERSHAT

Friday, January 21, 2005 10:02 PM

What's this about a slit? Is this a strategically located slit?

Actually, it might work to my advantage, depending on what kind of contest we're talking about here... I AM trying to put together a harem, remember...

Personally, I'm thinkin I might skip the dress entirely, and go with a manly kilt, complete with 54" Claymore broadsword...

How about if I go with nothing but the leopard skin thong?

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)

"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

CAGEYBEE

Friday, January 21, 2005 10:11 PM

*after seeing Malicious gratituously flaunting her STOLEN sash, KGB, in her slinky dress with frilly socks, slids in Tom-Cruise-in-Risky-Business style and steals it back*

Mal, the sash is for the man with the most well-placed slit!

I think there should be two portions for the competition: evening wear and talent. I hear the vocal stylings of a certain doc are quite amazing.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

MAI

Friday, January 21, 2005 10:26 PM

Harem? Did you say harem? I must of missed something from way back when. If you've got room I have always dreamed of belonging to a harem ...

As for the pageant, I am personally voting for the slinkest, best covered (or uncovered as the case may be) man on the stage. After all, it's not really pageant wear unless its like a second skin right? edit: oh and high heels too, can't have a pageant without gorgeous shoes.

CAGEYBEE

Friday, January 21, 2005 10:31 PM

Jefe, I think have a few harem outfits leftover from when I was "involved" it Static's. Of course, with time, they've acquired stragetically placed tears.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 21, 2005 11:58 PM

(Mal-Licious bonks KGB on the head with her scepter, just for fun.)

I will allow you to take the sash back, but only if Jefe wins.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Saturday, January 22, 2005 1:04 AM

* A spot of light appears in the middle of one wall of the Sereni-TREE’s common room. It expands, to become a circle of fire surrounding a dark void. From it flies a suitcase, which falls to the floor with a thud. Then from this hole in reality steps The Real Me, carrying a crowbar. The dimensional portal closes behind him. *

Ebo Golem! Drop whatever you are doing and come here, quickly!

* The Ebo Golem lets go of a tray full of drinks, which shatter and spill on the floor. It comes running. *

* The Real Me turns and points at the wall again. From his fingertip, another hole in reality starts to open. Out from this new dimensional portal come Rat and an unknown woman who is apparently embracing him. They seem very surprised as they fly out, feet first. For a moment, they are oriented parallel to the floor and are “falling” sideways, but then the gravity around the Sereni-TREE takes over, and they both drop down to the deck. *

* The woman is enraged. As she slams Rat’s face into the floor and scrambles to her feet, The Real Me smacks her in the shin with his crowbar and she goes down again. *

Ebo Golem! Grab her! Don’t let her get loose!

* The Ebo Golem leaps forward, grabs the woman, and holds her securely. *

Good!

* The Real Me reaches down with his other hand. *

Here Rat, let me help you up. Sorry about the ruse I involved you in, but I wanted her to be distracted.

* The woman, still in Ebo Golem’s grasp, struggles in vain to break free and howls incoherently. *

Well, that’s that. Now to deal with the actual cause of the problem.

* The Real Me pokes his upper body through the dimensional portal in the wall, then with some difficulty pulls himself through. From the other side, The Real Me’s voice echos: *

Whew! Dis-orienting!

* Soon after, the sound of cracking wood can be heard from the other side of the dimensional portal. Then The Real Me comes flying back through the portal in the wall, feet first. He does a twist in mid-air and drops to the floor, landing clumsily. The hole in reality closes behind him. In addition to the crowbar, The Real Me holds a chunk of wood. Without saying a word, The Real Me drops the crowbar, goes over to the suitcase, works the combination to open it, shoves the wood inside, and re-locks the suitcase. He sighs in relief. *

Well, that’s MANY potential disasters averted.

* The Real Me clutches the suitcase under one arm while he gestures toward the new woman still struggling in the grasp of the Ebo Golem. *

Hello, everyone! This is the FemaleReaver. I… uh.. well, back on the Thread Dedicated to Mal-licious, I accidentally brought her into existence by means of this magical, wish-granting plank. It is true that, taking my words literally, the Plank granted my wish. Unfortunately, the Plank seems to have the same evil, twisted sense of humor as many gamemasters of role-playing games.

* The Real Me blinks, just now noticing the new faces. *

Oh, hello, Badger’s Hat! Glad you could join us! Welcome! But I thought that Gunhand wore the shiny hat?

And hello, CosmicFugitive! You may find sanctuary here.

And… MontanaGirl? May I congratulate you on being the lucky 13th official crew member aboard the Sereni-TREE.

* The Real Me amends the Crew Roster: *

Badger’s Hat
CageyBee
CosmicFugitive
Ebonezer
Mai
Mal-licious
MontanaGirl
PsychicRiver
Rat
SimonWho
ThatWeirdGirl
TheRealMe
Zoid

* The Real Me turns back to the FemaleReaver, who has stopped struggling against the Ebo Golem and just gazes sullenly back at him. The Real Me scratches his head. *

Well, now! What are we going to do with YOU?

Hmmmm…

Well, Ebo Golem, let’s carry her to one of the private rooms. Maybe we can lock her in it and feed her through a slit or something. Say, does anybody have one of those Hannibal Lector mask things anywhere?

* The FemaleReaver smiles, and says: * “Just let me go. You know that I’m smart enough to figure out a way to get free EVENTUALLY! I promise that I won’t eat you

MONTANAGIRL

Saturday, January 22, 2005 6:18 AM

*montanagirl tiptoes in, lays a plate of peanut butter cookies in front of Mal-licious in supplication, then backs slowly away*

Someone let me know when it's safe for me to show my face in front of Mal again. I swear, Rat started it!

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

RAT

Saturday, January 22, 2005 6:50 AM

Hey, don't blame me, I'v been (and will be) hideing under the pool tabel til' after the "crossdressing gala"!

-Ratboy

COSMICFUGITIVE

Saturday, January 22, 2005 2:09 PM

*Cosmicfugitive continues to look at the dresses hanging on the door. He frowns, mulling over his decision.*

I don't know... They all look...

*He pauses and slowly turns to face the rest of the room. His frown deepens.*

Uh... Did someone mention a 54" Claymore broadsword?

*He reaches into his suitcase and struggles to lift out said item.*

*Gasping for breath* It's a bit heavy but it's great for chopping vegetables. It also makes a brilliant back scratcher too!

*Suddenly he loses grip of the sword and it falls to the floor. The treehouse shakes momentarily. Cosmicfugitive clears his throat. He turns to face the door.*

I'll..Uh.. I'll just make my own outfit. I look better in red...

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 22, 2005 3:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
*montanagirl tiptoes in, lays a plate of peanut butter cookies in front of Mal-licious in supplication, then backs slowly away*

(Mal-Licious sniffs the still-warm cookies)

Hmmmmm. Do they have chocolate chips in them? If yes, that will bear heavily in your favor.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Saturday, January 22, 2005 5:13 PM

* After ensuring that the FemaleReaver is properly restrained (and guarded by the Ebo Golem) and after hiding away the magical wish-granting plank, The Real Me comes into the Sereni-TREE common room, carrying a lawn chair. He sets it down in a spot with a good view and then reclines in it. *

I will NOT participate directly in this silly cross-dressing contest. However, from this vantage point I will offer appropriate encouragement to any males that do.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

CAGEYBEE

Saturday, January 22, 2005 7:16 PM

*smelling cookies, KGB wakes up from her scepter-induced slumber*

Woo, Mal, you have quite the hefty scepter there. What's it made of, cubic zirconia?

*feeling a large knot forming on her forehead, KGB hikes up her slinky skirt, just above the knee, unwraps the emergency gauze from around her leg and applies it to her forehead*

Knew I kept that for a reason. Now to make sure its wrapped secur....

*getting dizzy from the wrapping motion, KGB slumps back over*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 22, 2005 8:43 PM

How many contestants are there? Three?! That's it? Gee, you guys better work it to make up for the other guys not secure in their malenessness.

SimonWho
El Jefe
CosmicFugitive

Where are all the men? Grey? Zoid? Maniac? Static?

You *pointing to the men hiding under the pool table and relxing in the lawn chairs* will have to make up for your lack of catwalking in heels. TRM does so much, I'm willing to let him off with the stipulation that he opens a hole to IT's ice cream. As for the rest of you...Margaritas, stat! The women need you!

*twg relaxes in a hammock waiting for someone to gently rock her*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, January 22, 2005 11:36 PM

* The Real Me smiles and shrugs, then gets up from his lawn chair, fetches a cold Pepsimilk, opens it, and takes it to ThatWeirdGirl. *

Huh. With Sparky gone it's like old times back in the "I Am Not a Guy/Girl" Clubhouse.

* The Real Me sets ThatWeirdGirl's hammock rocking gently and waves one of his green hands at her. *

Oh, sorry. I could get you a margarita if you'd rather have that.

* The Real Me notices CageyBee slumped over amid her gauze. *

SimonWho! Could you take a look at CageyBee, please. Uh... I mean, could you closely examine her... Uh... I mean, I think that she could be hurt.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 22, 2005 11:48 PM

Hell-OOO! The green hands and the margaritas are for ME, remember?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Sunday, January 23, 2005 12:10 AM

* The Real Me holds both his hands up, palms forward. *

But Mal-licious! I have TWO green hands.

* The Real Me guides Mal-licious to the hammock next to ThatWeirdGirl's and makes sure they are both rocking gently. Then he goes off for a short time to fix a pitcher of margaritas. He returns with the pitcher and a couple of glasses, which he fills and hands out. Then he waves one green hand at Mal-licious and the other at ThatWeirdGirl. *

Okay. Two ladies. Two hands. I'm fine unless Ebo shows up.

* The Real Me glances back at CageyBee's form, which is still unconscious. *

SimonWho!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MALICIOUS

Sunday, January 23, 2005 12:26 AM

KGB is fine. Actually, I think she may be faking. I didn't bonk her THAT hard.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Sunday, January 23, 2005 1:05 AM

TRM, you can relax in your chair if you'd like. Rat can do this since he isn't prancing around in a dress. Can't you Rat?

Rat! Where are you? *twg crawls under the pool table only to find a pillow shaped like Rat.*

I have something that you can wear that isn't a dress. You want it?

*from behind twg's back she revelas a fluffy, royal blue feather boa*

Tada! You want this? I use it in pictures sometimes. It's really fluffy!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 23, 2005 2:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
KGB is fine. Actually, I think she may be faking. I didn't bonk her THAT hard.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

Just so you know, in the UK the word "bonk" is normally used to mean "have sex with". Which does make the sentence above priceless.

Hmm, let me have a look at KGB. Right, definite case of suffering from self induced wrapping. Best thing for her is a long series of injections from needles of varying sizes. Unless she's feeling better now?

MALICIOUS

Sunday, January 23, 2005 3:30 AM

Really? Here it's "boink." I'll try to remember that in the future. However, isn't just about every word in the UK a euphemism for sex?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

CAGEYBEE

Sunday, January 23, 2005 3:38 AM

*hearing the terms "injections" and "bonk" together, KGB jumps up*

Uh, miraculous recovery! Yay!

*noticing that being passed out (whether it be fake or real) on the floor has gotten her slinky dress dirty, she runs off to the east wing for slinky dress #2*

And can someone have margarita and a cold compress ready for me when I get back? All this falling over makes a girl thirsty....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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