Oddball Review on Amazon; straight from the Hague

POSTED BY: Gabriel
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 1, 2004 13:41
VIEWED: 2490
PAGE 1 of 1

GABRIEL

Monday, November 29, 2004 8:00 PM

Hey everybody, I was just reading some FF reviews at Amazon and found one that claims to be written by Slobodan Milosevic from his jail cell in the Hague. Who knows if it's true, but damn...funny.

Here's the text if you're curious.

The Killer Angels 2, October 2, 2004
Reviewer:Slobodan Milosevic (The Hague, Netherlands) - See all my reviews

Best TV show I have ever seen and I am 63 years old. But these reviews from America are so earnest and sincere. Lighten up, Fans; it is only a TV show, not a religion. Or is Firefly the opiate of the masses? By watching our Firefly DVDs over and over again, we fans escape our pathetic lives enslaved to our jobs and fears. We can only dream of the camaraderie, freedom, and courage of the Serenity crew. I have a lot of time in jail to watch Firefly. I dream of freedom. And I can sing all the words to "The Ballad of Jayne."

When humanity left Earth, it left behind its 'shiny' ethics and took its corroded antiques: a ruling class, fascism, religious fanaticism, slavery, piracy, torture, cannibalism! It is a corrupt Capitalist Universe. The Core worlds of the Alliance are rich and the exploited colonies are poor. Captain Mal has the brains to keep flying and trading between the planets and not become a victim. And he has the guns, lots of guns. The firefly crew and passengers know how to use guns. The firefly people can shoot, charm, or trade with anyone except those damn cannibals, who want meat, not money. These angelic-looking firefly people are "killer angels" killing the bad guys. Each one is smart and charming in their own way, even that thug Jayne Cobb. What a jerk-off, Jayne is! Zoë and Mal are fighting a part-time guerrilla war against the Alliance. Both want revenge, Mal even more than Zoë. He hates the Alliance more than I hate the United Nations War Crimes Tribunal. To spite the Alliance, Mal will go to enormous trouble to keep crazy Miss River Tam out of Alliance prison. Mal, rescue me from prison! I want out so I can see your movie "Serenity" in 2005.

Why do the outer worlds live in the 19th century and the Core worlds live in the 26th century? Karl Marx explained that when government does not regulate Capitalists, they will always use their power to impoverish the workers. If there is no stortage of workers, wages will fall to the subsistence level, barely enough to keep a worker alive. Automobiles, good food, and indoor plumbing are luxuries that most workers on the outer worlds can not afford. A Pure Capitalist like Fox Network owner Rupert Murdock is without mercy toward workers; he is a Reaver without the cannibalism. Firefly was cancelled because it was a devastating critique of Murdock's Pure Capitalism. The evil executives at FOX Network are NOT idiots; Murdock would have fired the executives unless they canceled Firefly. Oh, and Kaylee looks Serbian to me. She is perfectly ripe fruit. She is hot. Hot! _HOT!!_ It is good to dream that Serbian women will go to the stars. Keep flying everyone and sing-a-long:
... Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me ...

Slobodan Milosevic, The Hague, Netherlands
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A226T629DV1GNB/ref=cm_cr_a
uth/104-5318809-6603907?%5Fencoding=UTF8

___
RIVER: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.
MAL: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

SGTGUMP

Monday, November 29, 2004 9:31 PM

http://www.imdb.com/user/ur2871939/boards/profile

Read some if this guy's posts. Just about the funniest stuff I've ever read.

AURAPTOR

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 1:20 AM

Kaylee looks Serbian? Wow! If they grow'em like Kaylee over there, book me the next flight!

Mal and Zoe might have their issues w/ the Purplebellies, but it's news to me that they're still fighting a guerrilla war! That sounds like the Alliance commander from the Bushwhacked ep speaking.

Lets hope Slobo stays where he can be watched...closely!

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

ZOID

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 8:51 AM

Gabriel:

I say sign ol' Slobby Dan up! Sounds like a fanatical Browncoat to me! So what if he filled a few mass graves? 'Fortunes of war', 'Collateral damage', ya-da, ya-da, 'Nits make lice'... Er, no, wait; wrong genocidal maniac...

If he sees the errors of his ways, maybe he can become a man of the cloth, and cloister himself in some secluded abbey downSouth for oh, say, 7 years?

Bookishly,

zoid

P.S.
I hope I'm not being too subtle here... Maybe I should have signed it 'Generally', 'Williamly', 'Tecumsehly', or 'Shermanly'?

RHYMEPHILE

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 3:08 PM

*snerk* One of the first times an Amazon review was entertaining and spelled correctly! Figures it comes from a non-English speaker.

Another interesting note: Amazon has FF on sale for $34.99, while the cheapest used set is $37.49. Maybe the used ones come with a free catalyzer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"My office! Burgled! Plundered! Purloined! Ha ha ha...loins."

-- Phil Sebben, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

NEDWARD

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 1:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by RhymePhile:
Amazon has FF on sale for $34.99, while the cheapest used set is $37.49. Maybe the used ones come with a free catalyzer.

Hey, I prefer something with a few miles on it.