Pirates of the Whatever... Number...Who's counting??...review...

POSTED BY: Wishimay
UPDATED: Sunday, December 20, 2020 12:47
VIEWED: 4485
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WISHIMAY

Tuesday, May 30, 2017 2:03 AM

Ok, so another Pirate movie, and I think I'm hitting my limit for "number of times watching Kentuckian Johnny Depp stumble around drunk can be funny".
Being from the midwest, I see that here enough.


Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed.... having something to watch. I don't even think PARTS of it was their worst effort. But it's another "expect nothing" kind of movie, with most of the plot being played for effect and magical shenanigans and long lost children that come from nowhere and are just there for the plot holes. I no longer care about scary un-dead crew ships. And then for fun instead of just picking an actor that looks similar to Johnny to play young Johnny (CAUSE WE ALL WOULDVE GOTTEN IT, REALLY) they CGI's his EYES onto another guys body and dubbed the voice, resulting in an alien Johnny that was entirely distracting and annoying.

They didn't even bother to do anything with the end of the last movie and the dozen threads they left hanging.

I can only hope that this is one of those in-between sequels that is setting up for a good ending. They also kill off a main character, and I much preferred HIM to Depp, so I hope they kill off Johnny and be done with this in the next one, if they are doing a "next one".
Rotten Tomatoes isn't being kind, but it's still beating Baywatch...which isn't saying much.

As for the rent/watch in theater...If you aren't that big on the series, rent/Netflix... if you like the series, I think I'd go see it. It'll probably run for a while, so if you got a cheap seats theater you might wait for that.

We give it a B-.

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THGRRI

Tuesday, May 30, 2017 7:44 PM

Good review wish. I'll wait for it on DVD.