'Death or Glory' Fanfic

POSTED BY: Hotpoint
UPDATED: Thursday, January 22, 2004 23:41
VIEWED: 4661
PAGE 1 of 1

HOTPOINT

Monday, January 12, 2004 12:42 AM

Greetings One and All,

I've just posted the third part of the 'Death or Glory' sequence and I'm wondering what people think. Should I continue with this storyline or start another?

If you would like me to continue the current story does anyone have a preference for which direction to take it because I can't decide whether to go Action/Adventure or character based?

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Any critiques?... is there anybody out there?

Keep Flying
Jon (AKA Hotpoint)

HOTPOINT

Friday, January 16, 2004 12:12 AM

Part IV of the 'Death or Glory' Sequence now posted

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Any critiques?... is there anybody out there?

Hurrah, hurrah, when things are at their worst
With cries of “Death or Glory” comes the mighty Twenty-First

SQUEE

Friday, January 16, 2004 12:53 AM

I haven't read your fan fic yet, but give me some time and I'll get back to you.
Don't give up, I'm here!

When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you.

SQUEE

Friday, January 16, 2004 3:43 AM

Ok, I just read part 1.
*pause*
Looking at the big picture: I guess I'm wondering where you are taking this story. Part one seems to be complete on its own. So its a little hard to answer your question on continueing your series.
Looking at specifics: At first I was really confused with the switch from first person to third person. I've never seen that before.
Some of the battle scenes seemed a bit drawn out, specifically in the beginning- the second battle part up until the line: “We’re nearly in range. Prepare to receive incoming fire” It was a lot of information and it got confusing.
stuff like that can also get boring if its not from the perspective of or directly effecting a character. am I making sense?
I really like your tanks and weapons. I don't know if you thought them up yourself, or got them from somewhere, but they seemed genuine.
Some of your scene switching was a bit choppy. one of them was only two lines long and then you went back to the battle. It doesn't seem to serve a purpose and ends up being distracting.
Looking at the characters: It looks like you've put a lot thought into Steven. His character is stronger than Mal's is- which is not a bad thing.

So overall: I liked your story, you put a lot of thought into this battle and it is worthy of Serenity Valley and the show. Cutting back on some of the things I mentioned before would make it an even stronger piece.

When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you.

HOTPOINT

Friday, January 16, 2004 12:39 PM

Thanks for posting Squee

When I wrote 'Death or Glory' I wasn't sure that I was going to write any sequels so I tried to make it self contained. People seemed to want more so I just kept going hence the lack of an overall plot arc

The unorthodox 1st/3rd switch and scene shifts were just a result of my playing around. I haven't written creatively in years so I was just having fun with it trying to get back in the swing of things

The Excalibur is an extrapolation of a few trends in current weapons development with a gravity engine from the Firefly 'Verse bolted on. There was a thought exercise in British Military circles called the 'Flying Challenger' (named after the current UK Main-Battle-Tank) which I once read about so that inspired me a bit too

Steve is my strongest character because I'm still getting to grips with the Serenity Crew. I'm getting better though (I hope)

...................................
Hurrah, hurrah, when things are at their worst
With cries of “Death or Glory” comes the mighty Twenty-First

HOTPOINT

Sunday, January 18, 2004 10:27 AM

Part V of the 'Death or Glory' Sequence now posted

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Any critiques?... is there anybody out there?

Does anybody think these announcement posts are becoming a cliché?

...................................
Hurrah, hurrah, when things are at their worst
With cries of “Death or Glory” comes the mighty Twenty-First

HOTPOINT

Tuesday, January 20, 2004 7:41 PM

Part VI of the 'Death or Glory' Sequence now posted

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Any critiques?... is there anybody out there?

No longer a cliché now it's a tradition

...................................
Hurrah, hurrah, when things are at their worst
With cries of “Death or Glory” comes the mighty Twenty-First

HOTPOINT

Thursday, January 22, 2004 11:41 PM

Part VII of the 'Death or Glory' Sequence now posted

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Any critiques?... is there anybody out there?

This pointless thread continues ad infinitum

...................................
Hurrah, hurrah, when things are at their worst
With cries of “Death or Glory” comes the mighty Twenty-First