Frappucino Quest

POSTED BY: Sarahetc
UPDATED: Thursday, June 5, 2003 08:31
VIEWED: 2172
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SARAHETC

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 4:49 AM

(What the cool kids are doing on IRC Fireflyfans.net chat while you're out there having a life and being productive and such)

Frappucino Quest

So... there I was, in the Congo...
(Now somebody else picks up the thread... c'mon, work with me people...)
Surrounded by green mambas
(Where's Kaythryn working at this hour?)
her site Sarah
Wondering just how I got there from Kansas City...
And then I remembered that Kansas City is crawling with shady characters. None more shady than that guy...
With the very nice hat and the sinister laugh.
How many necks had he snapped that night? I could still hear the *crunk* sound in my left ear.
(winks to my man Lerx)
heh!
So when he said he had an idea, I decided it was probably best to smile and nod. The guy next to me who didn't smile, well, *crunk*.
So, I said, "Yeah, what you want?" Then the fake passport and all the cash was in my hands and I was at the airport...
"Where I was thoroughly probed by airport screeners, who took my nail clippers, sunglasses, pinky ring, and shoelaces. Fortunately, they missed the fifteen grand in my other pocket and the prototype laser gun in my carry-on."
And that was a big relief, let me tell you, cos standing here now surrounded by all these lightly smoking snakes, I'm glad I had it on me. There's blood on my wingtips, though. I need to remember to put that on his bill.
Now a suspicious type would be curious about why it's so imperative that I deliver this thing, marked "Propery of US Government" to these folks with strange Russian accents. But what I'm really curious about is just where the hell is the nearest Starbucks?
It has been a fricking light year since I had a frappucino and these russians don't know biscotti from a whole in the ground.
The worst part is, nobody around here seems to speak English. When they told me about that in school, I just blew it off. I thought those French and German classes were for like the geeks who learned Klingon.
So, at first I tried a little Klingon on these Russian dudes with the Ak-47s. It was the only thing to watch at the airport and I thought it might go over well with the geeky chicks who are desperate anyway. But they weren't having any of it. So the big one, who I think is called Vlad or something is pointing this big ass gun at me.
I mean, from my perspective you could dump a bowling ball down that barrel. He doesn't laugh when I say "Which way to the nuclear wessels?" which I could've sworn was Russian. But they were really nice about it. This is the roomiest trunk I've ever ridden in.
I have plenty of leg room, but it's really pretty hot and now I really can't stop thinking about that frappucino. I can hear them talking up there but they still won't talk English, even though I'm pretty sure they think i can't hear them.
So when they get out, they're nice enough to give me a chair to sit in, but I wish they wouldn't point those lights right at me. Then SOMEBODY finally starts talking in English...
But all he's asking is "Where's the money, Joe? Where's the goods, Joe?" I'm thinking this whole time, who's Joe? Did that guy with the hat in KCK say he was going to send somebody named Joe?
And I can't help him out, because that bellhop that took my suitcase with the two million in it never came back. So I ask him who 'Joe' is, nice-like, and he starts yelling, in Russian again, I think. And this guy in the corner starts sharpening his knife.
I think about that knife and who I would kill to get a frappucino at this point. And that gets me thinking about cool places to be and not get hasty when I remember that the bellhop wasn't wearing a little bellhop hat at all and didn't even smirk when I only laid a single on him for a tip. So I'm thinking, am I getting played? If only I'd remembered to bring the laser pistol with me instead of hiding it in the toilet tank.
Just then, a bunch of guys in uniforms come

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 4:52 AM

Sarah?

SARAHETC

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 4:54 AM

Yes, Succatash?

The formatting is crummy, I know. Just back and forth between me and Archer.

Sarah

I'm a dying breed who still believes, haunted by American dreams. ---Neko Case

LERXST

Thursday, June 5, 2003 3:01 AM

Nothing quite as thrillin' as watchin' a live duel between bards. Glad I was there to see it. BTW, Arch was considerin' throttlin' me cuz of some snide remark I made to 'im, which Sarah had the good taste to edit out. Heh! Where are ya Arch? Got a nut ping with yer name on it.

_________________________________________________
Raspberry! Only one man would dare give me the raspberry...LONESTAR!!

SARAHETC

Thursday, June 5, 2003 3:05 AM

As soon as I get motived, I'm gonna clean up the formatting and edit those comments right back in, sweetcakes.

Sarah

I'm a dying breed who still believes, haunted by American dreams. ---Neko Case

ARCHER

Thursday, June 5, 2003 8:31 AM

Lerx, I'm back to being one-hundred percent devoted to my worship of Zoe.

So whatever little dreams you're entertaining, please keep your hands away from my private parts.

There ain't nothin' I can't overcome or come to know. So lay your heavy load down on me, strip everything I have away. I am not your prisoner, I am not afraid.