"Medicinal Purposes"

INT. Serenity-Cargo Hold

(CAPT. MALCOLM "MAL" REYNOLDS is playing horseshoes with WASH in the cargo hold while DR. SIMON TAM pitches a job to him)

Mal: No ruttin' way.

Simon: Captain, we need the medication. Our stock is running low.

Mal: Doctor, I think you're forgettin' our last trip to Ariel. Didn't turn out so shiny, as I recall.

Simon: That was different, Captain.

Mal: I don't reckon it was.

Simon: Jayne won't be a problem this time. We've talked about it, and he knows he-

Mal: Jayne ain't the one I'm worried about. It's those snazzily dressed fellas with the blue gloves who seem to scare the bejesus out of your sister and have that nifty little tiara thing that makes your eyes bleed that worry me.

Wash: Oh yeah...forgot about those guys. Hey, Mal, how come we don't get fun tiaras?

Mal: Well, I'm a mite stingy on your cut. Plus, I think the flightsuits tend to wear better on you. Bring out your eyes.

Wash: Ah. Right. They do indeed do that.

(Mal throws his horseshoe and misses)

Mal: (disappointed) Ai ya, hwai leh!* You're up, Wash.

(*Shit on my head!)

Simon: Captain, I strongly recommend going back to Ariel...It's getting worse.

Mal: Worse? Well, isn't that a switch?

Simon: The episodes are coming more frequently, Captain. I'll walk in River's room and she'll be in tears and when I ask her what's wrong she talks in nonsense riddles. The medication we have isn't working.

Mal: Look, Doc. The risk is too high.

Simon: Yes, Captain it is but-

(Wash throws his horseshoe)

Mal: Well then, it's settled. We'll have to figure out something else.

Simon: The risk is too high in continuing the route we've been going!

Mal: Doctor, why're you arguing what's already been decided?

Simon: She's become dangerous. And you know it. We need to get her medicated. She's not well.

Mal: Yeah, I gathered that, what with the gibberish and...whimsical speech patterns.

Wash: And the throwing things. Do