“Ooh! Look at these!” Kaylee rushed across the shop, her ponytail bobbing merrily. Dust hung thickly in the air, rising from every grease covered part Kaylee snatched up. “These are 500 credits new!”

“The Captain said just get what she needs. We ain't exactly flowing with cash at the moment,” I said, more harshly than I meant.

She paused. “Well sure Zoe… its just… look at the pretties!”

Nothing in this dark musty shop looked pretty to me. I was still wondering that Mal had chosen to visit Enster with Jayne and not me. Jayne could look after Kaylee. I wouldn’t question Mal’s judgement but I didn’t want him thinking I was weaker. Should I talk to him? He would deny it of course, but…

“Do you think these will be here when we come back to Persephone? So you think Mal would let me buy them?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it depends what kind of job we get with Enster. Might not be a big one.”

“Mmm…” Kaylee agreed, looking wistfully at the parts.

“Have you found what she needs?” I asked, impatient to be out in the sunshine again.

“Yeah, here. Do we have to go back already?”

“Mal said to be quick as possible.” I took the small pile of wires and parts and carried them through to the front of the shop, which was surrounded screens where mechanics could order new parts.

“Hey, you need help with those?”

I turned to the man at my elbow – pretty, tough – and threw him a look of disdain, not even bothering to answer.

“…That’ll be a no then,” he said, taking a step back

When we finally got outside I gulped at the fresh air, breathing it in carefully, deeply, reminding myself that I was still here, still real. Sometimes it just felt as though I was all inside myself and would never be able to get out.

We picked our way through the unusually crowded streets that we knew now so well. They were haunted with memories.

Suddenly my heart stopped.

Had that been -? I span around, my head becoming light. He had been there! I searched vainly through the crowds, my heart now beating twice i