Always With Me

I can’t be anywhere else but here.

The Bridge. The only place he still feels near.

The chair isn’t his, but when I close my eyes,

I can still feel him guiding Serenity as she dips and sighs.

He had a touch always so sure and steady,

I can’t accept he’s gone; I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.

These are the tears that I’ve finally let fall on a whim,

Each a precious memory that helps me hold on to him.

I remember the rare quiet times we spent together,

The feel of his hands as they ghost upon my skin, light as a feather.

His smile thawed my heart inside,

But that gorram lip ferret had to die.

You hardly get what you expect in a lifetime,

I certainly never foresaw anything so sublime.

Mal always said “There are no straight lines in life”,

Now, I can’t imagine being anything other than Wash’s wife.

We vowed to carry each other,

And I found someone who became more than a lover.

We never did get a chance to pick our song,

And I never worked up the courage to wear that red thong.

The life we chose never did allow us much time,

But the moments we did share were as beautiful as the music of a wind chime.

No matter how hard life got, constantly on the fly,

He could always make me smile by mentioning his attempt at fish fry.

I remember how warm he felt as he held me on cold nights.

Now he’s a leaf on the wind, forever frozen in flight.

His soul was born to run the black,

To do the impossible, and never once look back.

The years seem to pass in the blink of an eye,

And now it’s time to say goodbye.

These tears roll off my cheeks, and into my heart

The thing that gives me hope, is the knowledge that we will not spend forever apart.

I’ve grown to hate the color red,

It reminds me of the reality I cannot accept: Wash is dead.

But a part of Wash still lives in me,

He’ll be there with me in nine months time, that I guarantee.