Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

NCIS vs. Firelfy Flesh and Blood

Monday, February 27, 2006

a sory about timewrap and invasion

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1663    RATING: 0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

First: I'm a little sorry, as I began writing, I didn't remembered that the rooms of the Tams are separated from the rooms of the crew.

Second: It's my first FF in English, so be kind to me :)

If you wish to read the German original, I wrote for NCIS fans, don't be shy to follow this link, but please don't post no spoiler. http://www.forum.navy-cis.de/thread.php?threadid=1361

500 years from now:

The space, endless deeps, a sea of stars and uncounted worlds. This are the colonial slums, where human being settled nowhere but on moons, in most cases. And what kind of human being: farmers, cowboys and other scum, as the alliance says. Although we're in a far, far away future, the worlds in this area presenting a primitive culture, which is still proud of handwork and the use of beasts of burden for work. It's where people living like their grand parents in founders time on the long dead, old earth. It's where weak are slaves and the right of the strongest still count. First settlers here weren't sorry when they found out, that there are no intelligent aliens, so they didn't had to share their space with other beings.

Trough this space there flight a ship, just an optimistic viewer had call a wrack, pessimists would call it a live hostile surrounding. In particular, it looked like an insect and not just its form, but also the glowing of its hyper light turbine gave this classification of ships the name "Firefly"- great trading and transport ships once, today an abandoned class with a lot of holes and spaces. Ideal for smugglers. On its side printed in tall Chinese letters, the name of this ship and a little under it, as the alliance dictate, the English translation: "Serenity".

River sat in her room on her bed, the cheek on her knees, listening to an imaginary knocking, she hoped it was just imagination, and rephrasing: "Bloody hands, dark light, no escape!" and was whipping softly fore- and backwards.

Jayne in the neighbour room was relaxing by smashing a ball on the wall.

All of a sudden Dr. Tam ope

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:18
uuummmmmm.... sort of hard to understand in places, but i guess thats acceptable considering English isn't your first language. you might want to consider finding an english-speaking person to read through it and help it to make sense. but like i said, it's understandable.
i don't know where you're going with this story, but i'm willing o read on to find out.
post more soon!!!
-Fred
Tuesday, 28 February 2006 16:25
Thanks, It's sometimes hard to find the right expressions in a foreign language. But I do my best.
Saturday, 25 November 2006 19:37
Tag Isardor! für das teilen deines schreibens danke ;)

First, let me say trying to read this fic in German was a very humbling experience. As you can tell from the sentence above I only know a itty-bit from childhood, so the only scene I fully understood was Simon asking Jayne to stop tossing the ball around. You're quite brave to post this for us in English. Translating from German to English is difficult enough, doing it while trying to maintain the voices of characters in Firefly, which speak with a western "twang" mixed with Chinese and NCIS, which use lots of US military jargon is a daunting task.

In English the story wasn't difficult to follow. I understood that in their haste to escape the Reavers that they'd been transported back to earth, around our time, or whenever NCIS takes place. I'm glad you choose to include Wash on the trip, that he's still alive in your fic. If you choose to continue the story, please don't kill him.

I don't have a feel for the NCIS crew, since I don't watch the show.

Like Anon above I'm not sure where you're going with this but I'd be interested in seeing it.
Saturday, 25 November 2006 19:44
Oh forgot to add that you may want to consider introducing the crew as they first appear one by one so you don't interrupt the flow of your story.

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.