TITLE: Heartsick

AUTHOR: CCke (aka Aset)

E-MAIL: Eponine_Aset(at)hotmail(dot)com

FEEDBACK: Yes, that’s what I live for... I can beg :p

DISTRIBUTION: want, take, have, just tell me where I can visit.

RATING: PG-13

CLASSIFICATION: songfic

PAIRING: Mal/Inara

SPOILERS: Set after the BDM

DISCLAIMER: Do I look that rich? No, not mine. Just playing with them.

As for the lyrics, they’re from the song Heal me, I’m Heartsick, by No Vacancy, from the School of Rock soundtrack. Mmmm Adam Pascal!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Needed some cheering up. Studying can get pretty boring, and when you get some disappointing news, you just need some Firefly to cheer you up!

Thank you to my wonderful beta Guin J I’ll buy you a drink at NFA!

DEDICATION: I had the idea of turning this into a Mal/Simon piece and do this for my meimei Tanni, but then little Inara started protesting in my mind. So Tan, I hope you still like it, and I can always give the Mal/Simon a go another time.

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War is one of the cruelest evils in these worlds. Hate drives people to insanity and to arms, and it will leave you bare, broken and scarred.

I know all of this wasn’t a real war. Not the kind that has half a nation in motion, but the effects were the same. I’m still broken and scarred, both mentally and physically.

A nice little red streak is all that will remain in a couple of years there where the Operative flashed his blade through my torso. The scar will fade, but the memory remains. Another thing that will remain is emptiness, in my heart. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life. Hell, my whole battalion perished in the Valley, all but me and Zoë. It hurts to watch a comrade fall. Hurts even more to see a close friend die. First Book, then Wash. They were my crew, family. It hurts, and I don’t think I can let go of yet another person. Not again. Not now.

Inara told me she wasn’t sure whether or not she would return to the Training House. She said she didn’t know if she’d