Blue Sun Room FICTION - HUMOR

Commercial interuption

Thursday, February 5, 2004

Since everyone in the RP seemed to enjoy this, I figured I would post for easier viewing.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3396    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Intermission Commercial:

The camera pans around the galley inside Serenity. We see Jayne enter, famous hat and all, and head to the refrigerator. Jayne opens the door and the camera pulls in tight for a shot of the shelves, lined with bottles of Blue Sun Beer.

Jayne grabs a beer, pops the top in his teeth, spits the cap across the kitchen and turns to the camera as he heads to the table. Jayne sets down Vera and says...

"Ya know, after a long hard day of Heroics like outrunnin the alliance, or shootin' it out with some back water goon, I like ta take me a little time ta enjoy the better things in life. Thats why I grab a bottle a ice cold Blue Sun Beer, it quenches a man-sized, powerful thirst."

Jayne props his leg up on the chair and start to swig the beer. After a big swallow, Jayne spits the beer out all over the table.

"Gorramit! Thats the worst tastin' swill I ever done had. Tastes like rancid cat piss. Where the ruttin hell is that director, I got me some contract negotiations ta attend to."

Jayne grabs Vera off the table and heads off camera. You hear muffled shouting along the lines of 'No, please it wasn't my..." Followed by several loud popping noises. Jayne heads back on camera, grabs the Blue Sun Beer Girl, turns to the camera and says...

"Anyone needs me we'll be in my bunk..." Jayne talks to the girl as they leave muttering "Gonna take me a week ta git that taste outta my mouth. Tastes like a squirle done up and died under my tounge...."

Jingle ensues...

Blue Sun Beer

It's not the best,

But if you don't drink it,

Your under arrest.

"Hey git your gorram hand offa' me."

"Breach of what, I ain't carin' what the ruttin hell you say, I ain't tellin' nobody ta drink that fermented camel dung!"

"Wait how much? Well I'll be damned, must just been that one bottle, this stuff is ...uuuuuuugggggghhhhhh.... ummmm yummy yeah thats it just downright yummy...."

Comments
Thursday, 05 February 2004 17:44
LOL! If you're not careful, we'll make you write ALL the commercials!
Thursday, 05 February 2004 17:50
AH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Thursday, 05 February 2004 21:27
I hear AB in "Jayne voce" every time I read this, and the idea of him saying "Yummy" with a forced smile is just too much to take.

Well done!
Friday, 06 February 2004 01:24
THAT was funny!
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 06 February 2004 01:29
LOL
Friday, 06 February 2004 03:20
High-larious.

"...I ain't tellin' nobody ta drink that fermented camel dung!"
Friday, 06 February 2004 06:30
Thanks folks I apreciate the feedback...
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 19 October 2005 21:02
HA! that is funny oh good oh man that way funny! i wounder what joss would say if he read it no hell i wounder what the cast would say they would probibly laugh there a$$'s off
Sunday, 06 August 2006 02:10
Actually Joss did get this, Jewel took it to him for me after Dreamcon but, I never heard anything back. He's a busy guy :)

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