ARTSHIPS

Monday, 02 February 2004 19:11

As emotionally engaging as always, Alison. Good job! I think it needs another epilogue, though, so we know who paid Badger and provided the serum. Or is that the subject of another shiny story?

AMDOBELL

Tuesday, 03 February 2004 01:22

Badger, as ever, is a middle man. He deliberately took the nasty little job because it gave him a chance to mess with the Captain, hoping it would also cause him a whole 'verse of trouble. It isn't necessary for us to know who provided the serum or the story behind that world's problems for this little trilogy. As for whether more will come out later you never do know. Thanks for the shiny feedback, I was beginning to think no one would actually post a comment. You made my gorram day!
Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

FEWINE

Tuesday, 03 February 2004 03:51

I really enjoyed your fic. I generally lurk around here, but I felt I should comment on this since I liked it so much. I have always thought that Mal and River would make an interesting pair - romantic or not - just interesting to interact, and I believe that you captured why. They simply get along because they understand eachother when no one else can. I hope that in the future, you further explore their relationship in whatever form you decide on (especially since it felt like any romantic sentiment in the first two simmered down to practically nothing in the last one).
On another note, the story felt well written and true to the episodes we've seen so far. However, as a cohesive work, the ending felt rushed (as did several other areas). I felt that there were some areas that could have been explored further - like when Mal finally broke down. FOr his character that would be such a monumental event, to finally let go - especially before someone like Simon, and especially considering he is getting comfort from River and not Kaylee or Inara who would be more likely choices for him, given the crew (and Simon) did not know of his bonding with River over the course of the story.
Also, while the interaction between charaters was understandable and believable, there was much interaction that I felt was missing. I think Wash might have been more prevelant than Simon in talking with Zoe, and Kaylee may have more to do with Simon given the fact that he probably was (or should have been) worried about his sister's state of being when she jumped into the vat (after stowing away on the shuttle) and when she was holding Mal. I felt that Simon not noticing River missing would be more probable if he was somehow preoccupied with more than Mal's safety and his own anger - if he was doing more, like comforting Kaylee or preparing for the worst it would seem more likely that is missing sister would go unnoticed.
All in all, I really loved your story. You tackled a tough subject and focused on a coupling of two characters not often grouped together as anything other than a father/daughter dynamic, and came out with a fantastic story that kept me interested. I would love to read more in the future, especially anything that ran along this type of story.

KISPEXI2

Friday, 06 February 2004 12:19

Phew! Torture me, why don't you? You ain't called Niska in real life, are you?

Talking of names, I'm thinking yours are significant. Am I right?