Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Needy's Destiny - Chapter 1: Francesca

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Not strictly a fanfic, since none of Serenity's crew appears, but it's set in the same 'verse. This is the prequel story of Needy, crewmember of Destiny, and occasionally a visitor to the Sereni-Tree.
Before there was DESTINY, there was just Needy. The male companion who often gets himself into trouble wasn't always a cheeky paranoid little boy whore (Okay, he's always been cheeky). How did he turn out that way though? This is his "origin" tale.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3375    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Chapter 1: Francesca

It was official: Francesca was the perfect woman. There was no denying it and nobody would dare disagree. Though she was only twenty years of age, she was wiser beyond her years. That’s what happens when you grow up in a companion house, when you learn how to be independent, to be authoritative, taught the ways of seduction and sexual gratification… whilst other children the same age are learning how to insult and hurt each other in classrooms. As others would be rehearsing school plays, Frankie would rehearse the 32 positions of San Khung. Of course, she was not only an incredibly beautiful young woman with a handle on her sexuality, but she had a wider knowledge of history, science, maths, languages et al, than most teachers. Her entire life had been devoted to learning, and now she was passing that knowledge on by teaching. She was my teacher… and I loved her.

I loved everything about her, and not just the superficial things such as her beautiful face and the perfect construct of her body, but who she was. She was not a pushover – she would take her stand for what she believed in, and would not be swayed by what others said. Some would call that stubborn, I called it admirable. Not only that, but she had a wicked sense of humour and her penchant for putting her foot in her mouth (metaphorically… though she could do it physically too) through quick-witted comments meant that we were perfectly suited… or not, depending on whether two people who have the habit of offending humourless officials is a good match.

Of course, there was more to it than that. My feelings for Frankie ran deep and even when she was playfully insulting me, I loved spending every minute with her. Unfortunately, I never felt that she felt the same way about me. I suppose the relationship we had with each other wasn’t conducive to turn into a romantic one, not at that stage at least. I was a newbie, having been at the companion house a little over a year. At the beginning, I was a virgin learning how to seduce and

Comments
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 18:23
Ok, so this is my first fanfic (if this qualifies as "fanfic"), unless you count the Reaver report that was one of the challenges on the official board (Which incidentally I didn't even get to submit due to it being a bit late).

So I'd welcome any input you have regarding how I might improve. Keep in mind though, that this is just the first chapter, with more emphasis on introductions at this point than actual "events". I'll hopefully get to the main event, or thrust of the story, by the end of chapter 2, or 3 at the latest
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 19:47
You ask for input so I will say right up front with no offence intended that I do not like fanfic posted that does not revolve around our shiny "Firefly" characters. It seems pointless to write about other characters and put them in our 'verse while leaving Serenity and her crew out in the cold. To me that isn't Firefly. It would be like writing "X-Files" fan fiction and leaving out Mulder and Scully. So predictably when you ask how this could be better I would say please use the crew we already have and let them interact with your original characters. Secondly, a good story to hook everyone in will repay you in spades. Hope that helps. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 20:30
Whoa... that is AWESOME!!

To address the "no Firefly cast in the story" issue, it's easy to picture this in the Firefly verse. Easy to imagine Inara's tutelage being very similar. Your words "paint" a good picture. Plus the Browncoat Official Sites Reaver challange called those entries fanfics but had no constraints about having original crew in the story.

Plus the sign of a good writer is not having to rely on gimmicks or familiarity and still being able to impart the flavour or the Firefly verse. And to that end, I say mission accomplished in spades!

Looking forward to the next chapter!!
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 20:35
Oops, forgot to rate it.
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 21:26
Hey Needy! I thought it was great. And funny. Good job. Can't wait for more!
Tuesday, 10 January 2006 23:15
AMDOBELL - Thanks for your input. I can understand where you're coming from, wanting fanfic to feature our BDH, but like Safe pointed out, it could still take place in the same verse. Of course I'm going to route for him, he's a fellow crewmember telling me what I want to hear ;)
Seriously though, I'll take your points into consideration. To be quite honest, I'm viewing this as more of a writing exercise than anything else. Maybe as I get better and can think of a story worthy of inclusion in the Firefly story-arc, then I'll write one. Until then, I'm going to leave them out of the Needy adventures.

Safe and Serenity - thanks for your support and encouragement. I believe the story won't get going till the next chapter though. I hope you like it
Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:44
oh, poor frankie!!! see, i'm all hook-fied already...

b
Thursday, 23 February 2006 22:22
Needy - I can see Amdobell's point, but the thing is, most of the best praise I've gotten for my own work has to do with the characters I've created. Even Amdobell has given me kudos for my own characters. It's rather enlightening to know that if I had simply written about the Zirondelle and her crew without interweaving with Serenity and her crew, her comments would be vastly different. My response is that writing our own characters is our own way of expanding Joss' already fabulous 'verse.

Keep doing what you're doing. My only suggestion would be that your syntax is too "Earth that was" and not the 'verse. "Jerk" in particular and even "No dicks." Then again, say those two in Chinese and you're in the 'verse like *that*

Chinese is tricky stuff, but when used well, only turns your work even more toward the flavor of Firefly.

Now - enough of that. There's two more parts waiting!

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