Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Full Circle - Teaser

Friday, January 6, 2006

Mal and Zoe come to pay their respects to the past

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1571    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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INT. SERENITY BRIDGE – MORNING

CAMERA FOCUSES ON WASH WHO IS IN THE DRIVER SEAT AND PICKS UP THE COMMUNICATION DEVICE TO TALK TRANSMIT A MESSAGE ALL ACROSS THE SHIP.

WASH

ATTENTION FUGITIVES, PREACHERS, AND SEX TRADE WORKERS. ITS BEEN THREE WHOLE HOURS AND NO SIGN OF ANY ALLIANCE ACTIVITY ON OUR SIDE OF THE ‘VERSE.

JAYNE WALKS INTO THE BRIDGE AND IMMEDIATELY RUNS TOWARD THE NEAREST MONITOR AND CHANGES THE SIGNAL.

JAYNE

CHANGE THE SIGNAL WASH, THE DANG DRAW IS COMIN’ ON. TODAY MIGHT BE MY LUCKY DAY.

WASH

SO THE TIME YOU GOT PUT IN AN ALLIANCE CELL FOR SLAPPING TWO MIDGETS WASN’T YOUR LUCKY DAY?

JAYNE

HEY, THOSE GORRAM’ MIDGETS HAD IT COMIN’. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WERE ALLIANCE. I RECKON’ THEIR UNIFORM WAS JUST A MIDGET COSTUME. NOW KEEP QUIET, HERE COMES THE…

MAL WALKS IN AND CHANGES THE SIGNAL ON THE MONITOR. THE MONITOR NOW SHOWS LIVE VIDEO OF THE BRIDGE THAT JAYNE, WASH, AND NOW MAL ARE CURRENTLY IN. THE MONITOR SHOWS A MIRROR VIDEO OF MAL.

JAYNE

MAL WUT’ YOU DO THAT FOR.

MAL

DO THESE PANTS REALLY MAKE MY ASS LOOK BIG?

WASH

I HATE TO SAY IT MAL, BUT THOSE PANTS ARE REALLY TIGHT.

MAL AND JAYNE SIMULTAENOUSLY GIVE WASH AN AKWARD LOOK

CUT TO

INT. INARA’S SHUTTLEPOD – MORNING

INARA IS SITTING AT THE WORKSTATION OF HER SHUTTLEPOD FOOLING AROUND WITH THE SWITCHES. THEN SUDDENLY HER MONITOR SWITCHES TO THE IMAGE OF WASH AND JAYNE CHECKING OUT MAL ON THE BRIDGE OF SERENITY.

INARA

MAL, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON OVER THERE. UNLIKE YOURSELF I HAVE IMPORTANT MEETINGS TO GET TO.

MAL (INTERCOM)

INARA, THAT WHOLE AMABASSADOR JOKE IS ALL OVER. YOU CAN JUST TELL THE CREW THE NATURE OF YOUR MEETING.

JAYNE (INTERCOM)

10 BUCKS SAY IT A’ SEXUAL MEETIN’.

MAL (INTERCOM)

DON’T MIND THA’ ANTICS OVER HERE INARA. WASH WILL CLEAR YOU TO DOCK CLAMPS NOW. WE’LL RONDEVOUS IN A BIT. GOT BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF UNTIL THEN.

INARA SHUTS OFF THE MONITOR

INARA

WHEN WILL THAT MAN GROW UP?

CUT TO

EXT. INARA’S SHUTTLEPOD

INARA’S SHUTTLEPOD SEPERATES FROM

Comments
DECKLE
Friday, 06 January 2006 02:55
hard to follow because i pasted it poorly. whenever it has just the name and nothing beside it. everything under that is what he/she says. aaaah. this is a nightmare fanfic already. someone tell me how bad the teaser is or if i should write the rest.
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 06 January 2006 03:17
Might want to work on the formatting a little bit, might make it a bit easier to tell what is dialogue (I was able to decipher it, but...). The initial banter between Wash and Jayne was good the rest could use a little tidying up.

-goblueguy
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 06 January 2006 03:17
PS please do continue this, I like where it might be headed.
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 06 January 2006 04:46
Please continue. Very interesting, very good teaser. I want more please, guv'nor.

Also, all the upper case was hard to read. Might think about putting what people are saying in quotes and making upper and lower case as appropriate.

Any help needed, please e-mail pflynn
@ev1.net
Friday, 06 January 2006 13:21
I can't wait to see what is on the gorram banner! By the way, when you type everything in upper case (ie block capitals) this is the equivalent of SHOUTING. It would look much more effective and be easier to read if the name of the character speaking was in capitals then their dialogue on the line beneath in ordinary type in the manner this comment is written. Do that and you won't need anything else. You can edit what is already posted and thus save having to repost. Hope that helps. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 06 January 2006 16:38
Keep it coming! I do believe they are on Hera?
Friday, 06 January 2006 22:28
"I think I just soiled myself."
you know it's gonna be good when the pilot soils himself...

b
Sunday, 08 January 2006 05:50
Beauty and the Beast...Mal is quite pretty!! (Luv ya Zo!!)

I can't wait to read more.

:-)

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