Author's Note: After a two months of leaving anonymous comments, I have finally decided to sign up here. Nice place. :)

This isn't as poignantly contrasted as most "Five Things..." stories. I just liked the format and the option of many in one.

Now with better editing.

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Five Things That Never Happened When Inara Serra Left Serenity

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I. Right.

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The bed is warm, toasty even, and her gentle ministrations have soothed its occupant into peaceful slumber.

Her head is resting on the pillow next to his and as her eyes wander over his face she feels nothing but the overwhelming perfection of the moment.

"I love you very much." A tired finger trails over unruly hair. "You rascal."

"Spoken like poetry by my wild rebel bride."

Inara doesn't startle, not outwardly, even though she never heard the soft-footed approach. Instead she sits up, turns her head to the doorway and arches one perfect eyebrow.

"Rebel? What brings on this harsh judgment?"

Green eyes sparkle back at her. "Always breaking the rules, baobei. You're trying to fall asleep in the wrong bed."

He's all mirth, walking closer. Freckles and red hair and dimples, and that small permanent crease between his eyebrows from frowning over blueprints all day.

"I can't help it", she purrs at his approaching form. "It's the untamed bandit in me. No laws can govern my sleeping patt--"

The rest drowned in a muffled squeal when Yuri dives in and picks her off the bed, throws her over his shoulder with a grunt and a guffaw. Kicking legs can't stop him, so she finds herself lifted and clutches his shirtback and bites her lips against the giggles.

"You make handsome bounty." Strained whispers as he turns and rushes out of their son's bedroom toward their own.

Wriggling, shaking, gasping bounty, too. She's trying to be quiet and hold it all in until he closes the door a