Mal was tired of this. There was too much tension, too much to get in the way. He needed to do something right now. He looked at Inara. Her eyes betrayed the same agony. She nodded. It was time.

“WOULD YOU TWO STOP!!!!!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. River and the boy stopped their fight quickly, and sat down like nothing had happened. Mal sighed. “Listen, I don’t mind that you guys can now fight with no restraints and all,” he explained, “But you really hafta do it when we are one of two places. 1) Not in Serenity, and 2) when we are not close to sharp objects!” River flinched, and the boy looked down.

“We knew where they were going...” the boy complained, but Mal still didn’t have that frothy beverage anymore.

“I don’t care. You didn’t know were I was goin-”

“I did...” she pointed out. He grew red, slightly blue, pale, and then coughed. Simon walked into the room and cocked eyebrow.

“That was, one of the most amazing expressions I have ever seen,” he marveled as Mal started to look like he hadn’t had his fiber that morning.

“We’ll behave,” River mumbled. She and the boy exchanged looks. Simon walked up behind the two and raised their hands, showing two pairs of crossed fingers. Mal just walked out of the kitchen.

“That went well...” the boy chirped in a positive tone. River nodded, Simon dropped his head, and Inara’s eyes followed Mal out of the room.

***

The boy sighed. He liked having the crew know him. He thought it may be annoying at first, but so far the only nuisance was...

“I am serious. If you EVER do anything with her...” Simon Droned on as the boy put on his most innocent face, ”I will make sure you never see daylight in a positive manner again.” Ooh, that was a new one. Must... Remember. Then Simon handed him a bottle.

“Erm, Doc? What does APM stand for?” he asked. Simon looked at him.

“You really are dumb aren’t you. Think what I am talking about here, and what this might be used for..."

“Doc, I don’t need any steroids if that’s what you are suggesting...” Simon