A DRINK TOO FAR

Mal/Simon, PG-16

"I try to fix one gorram door, and the damn ship tries to kill me... OW!"

Simon looks up at the captain in frustration. "If you'd stop thrashing around it wouldn't hurt, and I haven't even started stitching you up yet... I'm just cleaning it out."

Mal glances down at the 8 inch gash in his leg, and then frowns up at the doctor. "I don't mean to tell you your job or nothing, but aren't I usually numbed up with something right about now?"

The doctor grimaces as he picks up another clean piece of gauze. "Well, River decided that it would be a fun game to mix some of those pretty chemicals together... it cleaned off the top of the counter nicely, but that means that my supplies are pretty low." He picks up all of the bloody gauze and moves over to the trash dump in the wall. "The way this crew manages to embroil itself in dangerous situations I thought it wise to reserve our meager rations for an emergency."

Mal looks down at his leg again... it needs stitches. "Uh, doc... all manly toughness aside..."

Simon laughs. "I've got a little alternative medicine that should do the trick..." Reaching under the bed against the bulkhead, he pulls out a large brown bottle.

Mal looks at the label and smiles that rare, slow smile.

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"Naked?!?" Mal sprays Ng Ka Pei out into the air (which is probably for the best, as the mostly-full bottle is now mostly EMPTY). "And you weren't kicked out or arrested or nothin?"

Simon smiles wryly as he finishes wrapping up the leg. "Well, I was naked, but the police kindly helped me find my wallet, so they wouldn't have to fill out all of that paper work... very reasonable prices, those officers."

Simon turns away to wash his hands, not realizing that he's humming THAT SONG and kind of shaking his butt in time to the music. Mal is still staring at the ceiling and sniggering a bit, but he hears the melody and turns in the doctor's direction. He stops laughing real quick.

Simon is obliviously cleaning up his workspace, singi