TITLE: "EXTREMIS"

AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL

FANDOM: "FIREFLY"

PAIRING: Simon. Mal.

RATING: PG-13.

STATUS: THE STOLEN MOMENTS SERIES

ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.

FEEDBACK: Welcomed.

EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com

WEBSITE: http://carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY: "Simon patches the Captain up yet again then

contemplates him as he sleeps, silently acknowledging what

he can and cannot have."

The usual disclaimers apply. The characters and 'Firefly'

are the property and gift of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

No infringement of copyright is intended.

"EXTREMIS"

A "Firefly" story

Written by Alison M. DOBELL

* * * * *

I cannot stop watching you. Absorbing every sigh and tremor as you sleep so fitfully. Nightmares. I never knew they were this bad. That you suffered such prolonged agonies of the soul. Did you know you talk in your sleep? Call for those long dead, cry only for the living? Berate yourself constantly for those you could not save but do you mean the living or the dead? In your extremis only one thing is clear. Only my touch grounds you. Gives you respite however fleeting in the Here and Now. And in that stolen moment of peace I am redeemed.

You would think me foolish if you could hear my thoughts. Wonder what I have to atone for but I am not the man you think I am. The mannered confection of a privileged life is the gloss not the substance. I am not just River's brother or the ship's doctor. Not simply a good man pushed to extremes, living on the edge because it is the only place that will have me. Have us. I have demons too. Less surly than your own but they still haunt me. I have never raised myself up to stand against the darkness as you have done. Had I done so the darkness would have surely consumed me, twisted what stands before you out of all recognition.

A frown creases your sleeping brow. Unbidden my hand drifts down to wipe it away, the gentle touch