Once on a dusty desert moon,

the townspeople gathered, it was high noon.

They were there to watch a hangin', too be sure

of a group of smugglers numbering four.

One was a large man with a woman's name.

He'd been shot in the leg, and thus was lame

Then there was the funny man in the island shirt

next to the shepherd who appeared to be hurt.

Lastly, standing with head held high

was their leader with an odd look in his eye.

It was as if he knew something they did not.

He didn't seem upset over bein' caught.

Turns out he had history with the queen bee.

Meaner than mean and named Patience was she.

Sitting on her throne in front of the clock tower

she laughed and hollered o'er her supposed power.

She'd been sore since Mal turned down her offer

to share her bed and the villiage coffer.

So there they were, knee deep in dung,

bruised, bleeding, and waitin' to be hung.

"how'd this happen?",you might ask.

Tellin the story is quite a task.

You see there's this ship called Serenity

with a damn fine crew and trouble affinity.

Over the years theres been all sorts of drama:

Reavers, blue-hands, and a hat from Jayne's mama.

Love has budded between the crew,

Zoe n'Wash and Simon'n Kaylee to name a few.

Then theres the thing with Inara and Cap'n.

I'm holding my breath to see what'll happ'n.

However, the greatest love we see quite plain.

I would certainly be between Vera and Jayne.

I should probably get on with the tale

of how our boys landed their butts in jail.

They knew they shouldn't go but needed the money.

It was hardly lucrative smuggling honey.

Patience had waved them, white flag in hand

wanting the Lassiter and offerin' a payment grand

They couldn't turn it down, it was too good.

Even though they knew they probably should.

Patience had already tried to kill Mal twice,

but poor Zoe's protest just wouldn't suffice

to sway Jayne and Mal from their belief

they could escape Whitefall with minimal grief.

So there they were in the middle of the square

with ropes 'round their necks and