A/N: So, while working on this year's Christmas special, I decided to clean up and repost last year's, because as you will see they are sort of tied together. Hope you'll enjoy :)

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Jayne was pretty sure Stitch Hessian was dead.

He knew this because he was the one who'd killed him. He'd smashed his head in against a rock back in Canton and washed his blood off his hands, and he hadn't ever regretted it. And yet, now as he stepped into Serenity's galley looking for a snack, he found that ruttin', good-for-nothin' low-life of a scumbag sitting on the kitchen counter, looking very much alive and peering at him with his one good eye.

"There you are," he snarled. "You took your sweet time. Haven't got the whole night, gorram it!"

Jayne just looked at him, dumbfounded, for a few seconds and for some reason he felt more annoyed than afraid upon seeing his deceased ex-partner. By God, couldn't people even stay dead these days?

"What the hell?" he eventually exclaimed.

Stitch looked fairly relaxed, maybe even a little bored. "I'm here with a warning," he said. "And I dunno why the hell I'm helpin' ya – seeing as you killed me – so don't even ask!"

"So you are dead?" Jayne pried.

"Yes, you idjit! You can't just step unto a ship in the middle of space if you're alive and kickin'!"

"Figures," Jayne agreed. "So… that mean I can't kill you again?"

Stitch glared impatiently at him. "You want this warning or not?"

"Not," Jayne said and continued on his way towards the cupboards.

"Well, you don't got no choice," Stitch said, jumping down from the counter and blocking his way. "So listen up, you qingwa cao de liumang. Tonight you'll be visited by three spirits."

Jayne