“A Vampire, A Slayer and A Space Hooker”

FADE IN

INT. SHIP CARGO BAY

ANGLE ON – TOP OF SHIP

A panel falls loose and hits the ground with a large BANG. A figure can be seen. Not sure Who. The sound of ropes is heard as a figure falls to the top. He starts to fall down gracefully Until he stops halfway to the ground. We see now it is SIMON.

SIMON

I’m stuck!

KAYLEE

(from Vent)

What?

SIMON

I’m not moving. I think I’m caught on something.

KAYLEE

You can’t ‘be caught on something’. It’s simple.

You just slide down and you don’t stop……

(realizing)

…..until we pull on the……Captain!

CAMERA TURNS from KAYLEE to find MAL has pulled on the rope. He finds it hysterical.

MAL

(innocently)

What?

KAYLEE

Gimme that!

Kaylee takes the rope and SIMON continues to slide down.

KAYLEE

It’s his first time.

MAL

I never should have agreed to this.

KAYLEE

He’s just new, Captain. He’ll do you proud.

MAL

He doesn’t have to ‘do me proud’. All he has

To do is get us the Goods.

KAYLEE

He will, see look. He’s on the harness……and

He’s spinning round….and round….and round.

ANGLE ON

SIMON as he’s lost control of his harness and is now doing backflips above the ground.

INARA

Is anyone else dizzy?

KAYLEE

I think I’m gonna be sick.

Simon stops. He’s still disorientated.

MAL

That’s it son. It’s right in front of you.

No not there. Not there either. No

Not, I give up.

KAYLEE

He’s got it see.

(beat, weakly)

He dropped it, see.

STAY ON THIS till we:

CUT TO:

INT. SERENITY-BAY

The Gang, Mal, Inara, Simon, Book and Kaylee are huddled around the table, looking at there findings. It’s a large Gold sphere. It has drawings carved into it and is obviously very old.

SIMON

What does it do?

KAYLEE

I don't know? It's either gonna blow us

all up......or play a song.

MAL

I'm hoping for something uptempo.

Raise moral, you know?

KAYLEE

It sure is shiny!

SIMON

Are you sure we should be fiddling

with it?

MAL

Probably no