Writer, director, creator and chief geek man Joss Whedon

Yeeeeeeha! I've made this into a film.

Opening: Research lab

Simon rescues his sister River with the use of a magic wand.

People who haven't seen the series

Meh a semi exciting opening

People who have seen the series

Is this a dream, I can't believe I'm seeing a firefly movie. Wait a minute in the series Simon didn't break River out himself. Oh I don't care I'm so happy.

Operative too mysterious for a name

Well I'm not happy with the conveniently placed cameras that captured the event. Why didn't the film crew stop them?

Research Doctor

Shouldn't you at least have a generic name like Smith or Brown. Must be very confusing for your bosses.

Operative too mysterious for a name

....I would like to introduce you to my sword.

Cut to Serenity flying around falling apart

Mal

What's with all the guns?

Jayne

I need to go and intimidate some people and my name is Jayne.

Mal

Good point.

They break into a vault and like all good robbers stare into the security cameras as they do it

Zoe

(Puts her gun against the head of someone trying to resist) You know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed.

River

Hey I'm supposed to be the prophetic one!

Wash

Err what did you just say?

Reavers appear they're savage, self harming, subhuman, mindless monsters.... who would make great maths, science and engineering students. After all they are masters of space flight. The crew manage to escape in an impressive array of special effects.

Kaylee

Wizard.

People who haven't seen the series

Oooh this is getting interesting.

Simon

Despite another demonstration of how dangerous it is out here and despite the fact that your the only people I know I can trust, me and River are leaving.

Mal

You're an idiot.

Jayne

I'll help you pack.

They go to a bar, River sees a power ranger cartoon and suddenly discovers a skill for beating people up. A whole