Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Away and Back Again S02E01 Part1

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A loving expression of my obsession with Firefly. A new adventure starting with the end of Serenity, packed with action, and good old crew antics.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1676    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Firefly - Away and Back Again

by: Smorgy

Part 1: What was that?

Even though these are not my own characters, and belong to Joss and Co. I couldn’t wait until Firefly comes back to hear new stories! Anyway, based on feedback I’ll post… or not the rest of the story. Also any suggestions for my writing are appreciated.

Begins as BDM ends.

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Mal and River are sitting on Serenity’s bridge as River prepares for her first flight. She looks out the window in front of her and sees the torrential downpour, but feels one of her many burdens slide off her conscious like the water hitting the downward sloping pane she views. As they lift off she feels something different.

At first it is her clairvoyance of Mal’s impending speech, “Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll throw you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down, tells you she's hurting before she keels, makes her a home.” But all too soon she knows that was but a blip in what was to come, she pulls her knees to her chest and feels with her soul but tells with her tongue, “The storm’s getting worse.”

Serenity and her crew break through a layer of nimbus and sees the light of the sun reflecting off the cloud’s tops, but then the dark of the universe’s horizon speckled with blinking stars.

“What was that?” Mal asks Serenity, sincerely expecting a response.

A piece of the ship had ripped from the rear buffer panel and hurtled off into space.

“Cap’n we gotta go back, that piece knocked against Serenity’s engine, bumped the rotation all out of whack”, Kaley’s voice spoke from the intercom above River and Mal.

Mal’s face turned irked and contorted as when his smooth plans just don’t go as such. “This wasn’t even a plan and its already goin’ awry!” He says to River. Flipping the com to address the crew, “Seems as though we got some parts jumpin’ off this wonderful boat

Comments
Thursday, 10 December 2009 13:02
Firstly, ratings: I always give a 10 because I don't like giving them but if you don't then the author doesn't get a notification message.

I like the detailed depiction of River's feelings and impressions during the final scene of the BDM.

And I really enjoyed the scenes with the Operative: it looks from this fic that writing action is a forte of yours, because I found it much more convincing than your descriptions of scenery and people (it's the other way round for me :) ) I'd really like to know what happens next.

One point of grammar - the fic starts in the present tense and then moves into the past. Personally I found the sections in the past tense easier to read and more enjoyable.

Hope you'll update.

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