PART 5 – Fear of losing

Michael was glad his brother was here, sheltering him, protecting him, like a life raft amidst a tumultuous sea of pain and confusion. Sitting next to Cole, Michael could finally distinguish his own heart-ache from the mess of thoughts assaulting him, and somehow, it couldn’t hurt him as deeply with Cole there shielding him. He could not read Cole telepathically the way he did his Mama or the way he tried to with Zoë. With Cole, as with the rest of the world, he read the intentions and the truth of things. It astounded him to this day that all his brother usually wanted was for him to be there. Cole had his own friends and his own world. When they’d enrolled in a school planet-side, Cole blended easily with the people there. But he always made sure there was a place for Michael.

The heat of grief lifted and Michael felt he’d fall asleep next to his brother, it was so safe there. It had been safe to weep for his sister, without forcing words. Cole wasn’t a reader, but he always seemed to know what Michael was thinking, even before Michael could sort it out himself.

“Do you hear them, when they die?” Cole was asking. Michael had handed him a capture with pictures of all the worlds he’d been to, and Cole was reading between the lines, seeing the work that had brought him all those places. Michael always appreciated that Cole listened.

“I hear them beforehand,” Michael said, inhaling deeply and itching his face against Cole’s leg. He fingered his ear, but Cole swatted his hand away so he wouldn’t re-open the cut.

“Always shouting malice and hate, so loud I barely see,” Michael continued reflectively. “If you injure them, they just get louder. That’s why I go quick, right between the eyes. They’re dead before they know they’ve been shot. Then everything gets real quiet, and I can’t help but think the world’s a better place now that that voice is silenced.”

“Don’t go getting a God complex on me,” Cole quipped. “I know you and you’re not that great.”

They shared a