Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Maggie's Land

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

A Jayne heavy fluff story. My first one

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2288    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Maggie’s Land

Chapter 1

“Almost home Sadie.” Maggie muttered as she grabbed hold of the reins. The horse plodded along knowing the way by heart. It’s been a long wet day getting provisions in Aberdeen.

“No girl not the barn - got to unload the house stuff first.” Maggie stopped the wagon near the front door and sat for a minute and looked at the house.

“God I hate this place. If it wasn’t for the fact that I hate Marco more I would sell to him it a minute.”

Grabbing a load of fresh fruit she heads for the door. Fumbling it open she steps into the kitchen and sets the box on the table—or tries to. There is a man in a brown coat bleeding in her way.

Maggie drops the box and reaches for a towel to stanch the flow of blood - then she hears a gun cock behind her. As she turns, one of the largest men she has ever seen is holding a gun on her. He tells her to stop and drop the towel. She looks him in the eyes and sees anger and fear. “If you were going to shoot me I’d be dead by now!” and pressed the towel to the wound in the man’s shoulder “Looks like it went clean thru. Care to tell me who you are and why you’re in my kitchen?”

The wounded man regains consciousness “Jayne! put the gun down, Sorry about the mess Ma’am —needed to get in out of the rain. My name is Malcolm Reynolds and this here is Jayne. Had a bit of trouble in Hoquiam. Thought it best if we left town for a while.” Reynolds struggled to a sitting position “Don’t want any trouble, just waiting for the Feds to move on so we can get back to town.”

“What kind of trouble you have with the Alliance ?” Maggie continued to clean the wound.

Jayne watched Maggie closely, not only so she couldn’t do any harm to the Captain, but because he just liked watching her. Liked a women who didn’t scare easy. He kind of wondered where the rest of the household was “You live in this big ol’ house alone?” Jayne figured she did, as he saw no signs of men folk around.

“I’ve lived alone since my husband died. What kind of trouble did you say you were havin

Comments
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 08:25
Aaaah... Jayne and the lonely widow. Classic setup for a doomed love. Almost a shame Mal's there to get in the way--well, and the fiance (that apparently Maggie doesn't much care for) and the Feds. Nice start to the story. I'll be looking forward to see where you're taking this. Right now I'm just busy picturing Jayne buck naked in a room full of Feds. Of course Jayne 'goes commando'. ;-)

On the writing--you switched tenses several times, from past to present and back, might want to look at that. One or the other, the changing was a bit distracting.
HURRYSUNDOWN
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 14:18
I second that, Beckett - now where's the rest? *g*
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 16:49
I had to laugh at Jayne playing the husband and being all careful not to touch then having the widow woman play up to him like that. For some reason it reminded me of Mal getting himself hitched to Saffron. Where is a pretty floral bonnet when you need one? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 20:31
That calls for a sequel. Well done. My only qualm was that it was in present tense.
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 23:05
English was never my strong suit,not sure about the 'tense' was so worried about getting the spelling right. I could use some help - I have a few more chapters done, but would like to fix them - Thanks

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