[ [ [WARNING! DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL YOU’VE READ “MAJOR SPOILERS”!]]]

Had Zelda been around, we never would have dared to plop our feet up on the reception desk. Since she was nowhere to be seen, Doc and I were reclining side-by-side on the sofa, feet up, chomping on matching bags of Doritos and wrapped up in the Sunday comics when out of the blue he said:

“What IS that song, by the way? It sounds so familiar.”

“Song? What song?”

He looked over at me sideways – I reckon that’s what they would call a “sidelong glance” – and said, “When you’re happy, El, you always hum that same little tune. You kind of whisper it, under your breath.”

“I do?” This was news to me. “Does this song have words?”

He shrugged. “If it does, I haven’t heard them. Maybe you’re not happy enough yet?”

“Well whaddya know. I’ll try to catch myself doing it sometime.” I sighed, and looked down at my ragged fingernails. “Yet another habit I need to learn to kick.”

“Don’t do that.” Doc sat up. “It’s.... pretty. If you stopped doing it, that would be a shame.” His face reddened and he turned away.

I threw a Dorito at him. It hit him square in the jaw and landed on his lap, where he promptly picked it up and popped it in his mouth. “Thanks.”

Pa once told me that when you find the one you’re meant for, you’ll see them smile a secret smile – one that’s yours and yours alone, one that only you can unloose from them. Until they find you, they will never smile that way. And if they lose you, they will never smile that way again.

Does he smile that way for her?

I’ve gotta stop remembering things like that. It’s dangerous. And stupid.

It’s over. It’s already over. All done but the shoutin’, as Pa would say.

And I was so sure....

I wear my hair down when I’m not working because once, once, he said I look “nice” that way.

I see something funny on TV and I hear his laugh, even when he’s not around.

I can’t be