Warnings: Altered timeline from 'Ariel', angst, hurt/comfort

Time period: Around ‘War Stories’

Thanks to lvs2read for the great beta and thunder_nari for the great beta and spurring me on.

~

They left her alone, they haven’t done that in a while, not since Simon was taken away. River used to like being alone, used to be able to breathe easy and enjoy the quiet that came when they weren’t all chattering at her. Minds working a mile a minute, making her see things that weren’t there, hear things she didn’t want to.

Sometimes she wonders if she imagines it, is dreaming all of it. Some days it’s so difficult to tell where she is, she has to wonder if she’s still back at the academy, still undergoing some treatment or trial. Trying to make her better, but scared of what they’ve made.

“Lonely.” She murmurs the words, fingers playing on Serenity’s surface, tracing over the ship's flesh lightly. She can hear popping noises in the distance, lets her feet wander that way, dancing lightly over the metal. She wishes Simon was with her, he could dance too. Her feet slow. She can’t think without him, sometimes his screams are so loud she has to use her own to drown them out. An everlasting scream that keeps coming, keeps sounding in her mind. Fear and panic and stealthy resolution to protect her from the cold oily mass that wanted to take her.

“Wanted me.”

She knows they did, felt their determination and delight to capture her, only Simon’s passion pushing it away, stopping them from binding her. She sometimes remembers that passion. Comes out from the safety she’s created in her mind to remember it, to remember where she is. Her mind’s damaged. River knows this, but the warm feeling of Simon helps her to nestle into a part of it. She can’t hear them there, can’t feel them or know their terrors when she’s there. There’s just Simon and her, and they’re safe.

She frowns, hearing the popping noise grow louder, hearing a strangled sob as she looks down on the woman crouching in front of her. Ka