Jayne couldn’t believe it. The captain was threatening to throw him out the airlock….again. Well, he assumed that was the intention. The airlock was actually closed tight due to the fact that they were in the black, but the door entering the cargo bay was also closed. The last thing he remembered was being in the infirmary with River, and wanting to kiss her, then seeing Mal’s boots. Now he was lying here feeling like his head was about to explode. Course, if that airlock opened with them still out in the black, it would explode…and he was none too keen on that happenin. What he was about to do with River, it didn’t feel wrong, but even if it was it weren’t his fault…gorram girl can get anything in the verse she wants once she sets her crazy mind to it. Like the Captain said, Jayne had never been blessed with an overabundance of brain….weren’t fair that it was all his fault bein the prey of an elite Alliance-made genius girl-weapon. It weren’t fair at all.

The door to the cargo bay rattled open to expose the Captain’s pistol pointed straight at Jayne’s head as Malcolm Reynolds stepped in, closing the door behind him.

“For privacy,” he explained, bringing the gun closer to Jayne’s brain. “You got some ‘splaning to do Jayne.”

“Look, capt’n, this ain’t my fault,” Jayne protested loudly, then proceeded to explain exactly how it wasn’t and the rest of the things that had occurred…cleverly omitting the bit about his particular feelings about the girl.

“So,” Mal summed up when he was finished, “you expect me to believe that my lil’ albatross has gotten into her head to court you…and you are completely innocent in the whole thing?” he said, and Jayne shuffled. Mal raised a skeptical eyebrow then continued. “As much as your record states to being innocent most of the time, I’m not inclined to believe that when a girl gets the inkling to kiss you, that you start protestin very much.”

“Shia dong se Mal, with women not girls! Gorram girl probly jus tryin to soft me up so she can slice me up again!”