I own nothing.

----

Passengers had never been his best idea, even if they did provide some quick cashy money, Mal mused to himself as Jayne rushed towards Mrs. Benson, the passenger in question, with a roar and an upraised fist. Like as not they'd bring more trouble than they were worth. Of course, Mal qualified as the passenger flipped the big merc onto his back with a thud, the dainty looking ones were usually the worst.

"Isn't this a nice birthday present, Jayne," the little blonde woman said. "Two weeks late, too, as you'll recall."

"I ain't ever gave you anything nice, anyhow. You'd just blow it up."

"Well, it isn't like I didn't give you fair warning. I did name the bear 'Explodey'."

"I'm sensing some history here," Mal said. "Jayne, you get up off the floor and tell me what the story is."

Jayne drew himself up with a dignity Simon would applaud or, more likely, disbelieve. "Mrs. Benson," he said with a sneer. "This is Captain Reynolds. Mal, this is my sister, Thomas."

Mal's mouth opened and closed for a minute, and then asked the first sensible question that came to mind: "Your younger sister, I'm assuming?"

"Actually, I'm older."

"By four gorram minutes!"

"Four minutes, four years... regardless, it's been ten years since I've been Mrs. Benson, so you'd think you'd be used to it by now."

"He married you and didn't even invite us to the wedding, never mind asking permission. And where is he, anyhow? Too scared to face me like the man he ain't?"

"He stayed at home, taking care of the baby you'd know about if I knew where to send letters to."

"Well, it ain't like you ever told anybody where you'd be, either, Thomas," Jayne growled at the blonde. "You never even told Ma."

"I did so tell Ma. I told her not to tell you 'cause we were fighting and I didn't want you to shoot Mark."

"I wouldn'ta shot him anywhere important."

"If you'd had your way you wouldn't have ever become an uncle, Jayne."

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way," Mal sai