LOST CONVERSATIONS PART III

1. WHERE WE FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO JAYNE, SIMON, AND KAYLEE AFTER MAL LEAVES THEM IN THE BAR IN “Jaynestown”

INT. BAR - NIGHT - LATER

Jayne is still at the bar, surrounded by his admiring fans of Canton. Lots of cheering and toasts are in the background as Simon and Kaylee talk. They are on the wooden bench, both still drinking, both very drunk, speech slurred.

KAYLEE

To Jayne, the box dropping..whaddaya call him?

SIMON

(shouting)

Ape thingy man!

KAYLEE

Ape thingy man!

Kaylee starts laughing, spills her Mudder’s milk.

SIMON

Don’t worry, they got lots of that here. Lots of milk and mud. And Jayne Cobb, the Hero of Canton! And Kaylee, the prettiest mechanic this side of the galaxy!

KAYLEE

And to Simon, the nicest, most handsomest.....

JAYNE (O.S.)

Drunkest doctor I ever laid eyes on.

Jayne staggers out of the crowd with a woman on his arm, both pretty soused.

JAYNE (CONT’D)

Doc, you are mightily pissed!

SIMON

Yeah, bet ya didn’t know I could drink you under the..under the...

KAYLEE

Bar? Table?

SIMON

Table!

JAYNE

Little man, they’ll be carrying you to the mud pit and I’ll still be draining the bar dry of milk. Any time you up for the challenge, name your terms.

The woman is getting bored. She leans into him starts rubbing his back.

WOMAN

Come on Jayne, you said you was going show me the real reason they call you the Hero of Canton.

JAYNE

Yeah, right. ‘Nother time, Doc. This hero needs to get hisself some real action. You kids don’t do nothing crazy now, you hear.

Jayne and the woman exit right heading to the rooms, he grabs her by the behind, she squeals and runs, and he chases her.

SIMON

Sometimes I envy him.

KAYLEE

What? Envy Jayne?

SIMON

Yeah, for him everything is so simple. You want something, you take it. No rules, no fuss, no worries.

KAYLEE

(laughing)

Simon, ape thingy man!

SIMON

Ha! Me, the ape man!

(quieter)

Not much chance of that.

She smiles at him, leans closer.

KAYLEE

I don’t know. Might do you some good to let loose o