The Dr. Tam Journals – Part 6 – Our Mrs. Reynolds

“Simon, I wanted to ask you something and if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to,” Kaylee asked as they got ready for bed. She sat on the edge of the bed in just her nightdress as he put away his toothbrush and hung a towel to dry. He looked at her and then sat next to her.

“Does it have to do with what happened on Jiangyin?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay, but I thought you knew everything now.”

“Well, actually there are two things.”

“Two?”

“Uh-huh.,” she replied in barely a whisper and then looked at him in a very serious way. “First, why did you join River at that stake? They didn’t want to kill you, did they?”

He looked at her for a long pause and then slowly began to speak. “Kaylee, at that moment in my life, I was at the end of my despair. I had thought we had been abandoned by the only people who ever tried to help us.”

“Meaning us, Serenity.”

“Yes. And I couldn’t reason with those people. They were determined to kill River. And I couldn’t stand by while they did that. I was so powerless, so helpless. To die with River seemed an easy way out. No more running. No more hiding from the Alliance. We’d just…be gone.”

Kaylee looked at him in shocked silence, not knowing how just how desperate he had been. “But that was…suicide!”

“Yes. I’ve thought on it often and when it comes right down to it was suicide. I was willing to kill myself to rid myself of my burdens. And to be with River. Now do you understand? I love River. I would die for her.”

A tear fell from Kaylee’s eye and Simon’s eyes were shining with his emotions. She kissed him and hugged him tight. “And I’d do the same for you Kaylee.” And as he said that she squeezed harder and held on trying to stop her tears from coming but then not caring and letting them come the same.

After a long while, he looked at her and asked, “You said you wanted to ask two things.”

“Oh, yes, oh, I’m sorry. Just so...OK, I’m OK.” He stood and got her a handkerchief and waited while