A.N. To preemptively alleviate confusion, this is before Jayne and Inara came on board and before Wash and Zoë got together. One of the 101 theories as to how Wash lost the 'stache (I really will make a list)... I wrote this on the plane down to Chile before my M/I kick started.

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It was a stupid mistake and she’d nearly killed them all. Killed Mal, killed Kaylee – all of them. Her heart struggled to beat under the crushing weight of guilt. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she stared at the Infirmary ceiling. Mal had done his best to patch her up, but she was sure from here on out she’d walk with a limp. If not in her leg, then in her heart. Zoë closed her eyes, forcing blackness to shroud the memory. How could she have been so foolish?!

A gentle hand slipped into hers, too soft to be Mal’s, too large to be Kaylee’s. Wash. The gorram pilot had been hitting on her for weeks and now he had her some place she couldn’t run away. She considered twisting his arm or breaking his fingers just to convince him to back off, but that’s not what she wanted. He had every right to hate her right now – to blame her for screwing things up – but here he was holding her hand. And she desperately craved his forgiveness.

Keeping her eyes pressed shut, she adjusted her grip, letting their fingers interlace. Like a warm embrace, he closed both hands around hers, rubbing his thumb consolingly over her scraped knuckles. He didn’t blame her for what happened. He didn’t care that she’d almost gotten them all killed. He was just glad she was alright, and all he needed to do to convey this was hold her hand.

Wash’s thumb brushed her cheek, wiping away the tears that had fallen when she’d closed her eyes. He’d seen the chink in her armor; now there was no turning back. Despite her threats and cold demeanor, Wash had never been afraid of her. When she challenged him, he never backed down. What now? Would his eyes hold anything but pity? Would he tell the world how weak she really was?

Fearfully cautious, Zoë peeked