Blue Sun Room FICTION - DRAMA

The Last Straw - Ch 1

Friday, June 1, 2007

It all started on Persephone when someone unexpected came looking for Jayne. Very sad drama. Jayne-centric plot. Inara-centric sub-plot. Significant amounts of Mal narration involved. Post-series, Post-comic, pre-BDM.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3864    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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CHAPTER 1

The Alliance had just near covered the calendar with holidays to celebrate their great selves and Mal had no shame in using each and every one to start a brawl. He sat in a quiet corner of a bar on Persephone, having a drink with Jayne and Zoë, surveying the crowd for opportunities while losing miserably at a game of Mahjong. At the moment, the bar seemed disappointingly tame and under-enthusiastic about the holiday. He’d give it another twenty minutes and hop over to the next one. They needed to be off world within the hour and Mal wanted to get a decent fist fight in beforehand.

“Another round?” he asked, gathering the circle of empty mugs and heading for the bar. Zoë merely nodded and Jayne reclined, gnawing on an unlit cigar, complaining about the new policy against lighting up inside public establishments. A belly-dancer shimmied past Mal as he stood and wove his way through the sea of people. The bar was crowded, but not so much that the bartender didn’t recognize a paying customer when he saw one. He refilled Mal’s three empty mugs immediately, appreciating the cash upfront. Mal had learned long ago never to open a tab if one intends to leave quickly. He nearly dropped the third mug as a sweet, weary voice beckoned the barkeep.

“Excuse me. I’m looking for a Mr. Jayne Cobb. I was told he might be drinking in here.”

Mal’s head whirled around in time to see the bartender shrug and the girl turn around to face the crowd. She couldn’t have been much older than Simon or much taller than Inara. Her dark hair fell in coarse waves down to her shoulders and her olive-drab coat hung loosely on her frame. She was a mixture of exotic features and well-kept clothing, but with the drooping demeanor of someone who’s been on a long journey. Her face was plain and her eyes clear as the sea, scanning the room for her quarry.

Quickly, Mal ducked toward the back table to warn the others, wishing they’d chosen a spot closer to the exit. Unfortunately, the girl had noticed him and was half a step behind him

Comments
Friday, 01 June 2007 03:03
I'm on the edge of my seat! I'm just going to sit here in front of my computer (again) till more is posted. I swear the reason I never get anything done is because of you talented writers!!!
Friday, 01 June 2007 03:04
I'm on the edge of my seat! I'm just going to sit here in front of my computer (again) till more is posted. I swear the reason I never get anything done is because of you talented writers!!!
Friday, 01 June 2007 03:33
Ooh. Poor Inara. Poor Jayne.

This is an interesting idea - mainly Jayne and Inara plots. And, I caught it right at the first chapter, so I don't have to worry about catching up! :D
EPM0001
Friday, 01 June 2007 03:46
Oh this is good!! Can't wait for more.
Friday, 01 June 2007 04:41
This is excellent. I feel terrible for Inara, but this is a theory I have played with as well - the thought that a hun dan could make his way into her appointment book.

And Jayne ... what is up? Something tells me Ms. Smith is really his progeny and her mother was the love of Jayne's life - but I could be wrong!
Friday, 01 June 2007 10:50
I'm am all manner of intrigued as to who Ms Smith is, could Jayne be her daddy? That seems the most likely scenario. And oh dear, poor Inara. Sooner or later she had to come up against a pervert of a client. I just hope the others convince her to come out of hiding so that Simon can see to her injuries and the crew can console and help her through the aftermath, though we all know Mal is going to be on the warpath when he finds out what happened to her. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Saturday, 02 June 2007 00:03
“Jayne don’t seem the type to leave old friends lying around.”

“Simon don’t seem the type to break into an Alliance facility.”

“Point taken,”

...see?! THIS is what i love...you get the wording right on the character voices!!! and the plots? don't get me started...i'm all shades of jealousy over here...

KEEP WRITING!!!
Saturday, 02 June 2007 07:23
Call me morbid and creepified...but this is the truly good stuff! The angst...the mystery...the brilliant dialogue crackling with the same type of dry wit and sarcasm that permeates Joss' work (and now yours;D)...absolutely fabulous stuff here, valeriebean!

Really wondering who "Ms. Smith" is, I have to admit. The safe bet is a child of Jayne's he left with the young woman's mama...but you don't do safe bets, I think. I get the feeling that the mystery passenger is Jayne' sister...cuz I think only the loss of his family (his mama, Mattie, etc.) would drive him to go berserk in a bar and later try and tear his bunk apart:(

And I am so wanting to wade through the mess of her shuttle and just wrap Inara in a hug. Doubt she would want to be touched by anyone but Mal or Simon (for differing reason, mind you;D). Mal definitely needs to don his knightly armour and be Inara's rock as she struggles to recover:(

BEB
BLKHERO69
Sunday, 02 November 2008 02:02
I appreciate the fact that you dont constantly sugar coat Inara's profession, like many author's do.

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